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General Parenting
How do you get extended family to back off?
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<blockquote data-quote="jennd23" data-source="post: 423221" data-attributes="member: 11755"><p>Oh man. I am too familiar with this situation, not the anger but the parents not knowing their boundaries. We have a similar situation because I rent from my parents. Last night we had everyone over for dinner and I told my son to sit down (he wasn't hungry) with us anyway. He asked my dad if he could go play his game and my dad said yes. I explain that it makes MY job very difficult when son is getting such mixed signals. He needs to know that i'm the parent, and they are the grandparents. Their job is not to raise him. </p><p> </p><p>I really don't have any advice for you except to keep your doors locked and tell them that even though they own the house YOU live there and its your rules or they can't come over. i assume you rent from them? If so, tell them you expect a landlord/tennant relationship and that they have to respect the boundaries of your home. If not, it might be time to pay at least something so that you can use that relationship as leverage. I had to tell my parents that early on. Just because you own it doesn't make it your home. I want to be able to have MY family life in MY home without spontaneous intrusions or things that make it more complicated. </p><p> </p><p>I really wish I had more concrete advice to give you. I hate to hear about that situation for you and your child. Its not acceptable for them to treat him like that, problem child or not, its not their place and its inappropriate to threaten physical violence. I really think I would just put your foot down, they can NOT come in wihtout your permission and when you say go, they need to go. </p><p> </p><p>It sounds like they're very like my family so I know that's hard because they don't listen but you have to do something.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jennd23, post: 423221, member: 11755"] Oh man. I am too familiar with this situation, not the anger but the parents not knowing their boundaries. We have a similar situation because I rent from my parents. Last night we had everyone over for dinner and I told my son to sit down (he wasn't hungry) with us anyway. He asked my dad if he could go play his game and my dad said yes. I explain that it makes MY job very difficult when son is getting such mixed signals. He needs to know that i'm the parent, and they are the grandparents. Their job is not to raise him. I really don't have any advice for you except to keep your doors locked and tell them that even though they own the house YOU live there and its your rules or they can't come over. i assume you rent from them? If so, tell them you expect a landlord/tennant relationship and that they have to respect the boundaries of your home. If not, it might be time to pay at least something so that you can use that relationship as leverage. I had to tell my parents that early on. Just because you own it doesn't make it your home. I want to be able to have MY family life in MY home without spontaneous intrusions or things that make it more complicated. I really wish I had more concrete advice to give you. I hate to hear about that situation for you and your child. Its not acceptable for them to treat him like that, problem child or not, its not their place and its inappropriate to threaten physical violence. I really think I would just put your foot down, they can NOT come in wihtout your permission and when you say go, they need to go. It sounds like they're very like my family so I know that's hard because they don't listen but you have to do something. [/QUOTE]
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How do you get extended family to back off?
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