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How do you help a fatherless child?
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<blockquote data-quote="totoro" data-source="post: 209486" data-attributes="member: 3155"><p>you are already one step ahead of most, trying and planning on making things better.</p><p>My Dad was in prison a lot of my baby years and then he was gone. Up until I was 13, then it was lots of drugs, so he was still gone.</p><p></p><p>Looking back, My Mom's Mom. Grandma Nancy was so much a special person in my life. She made me feel safe. Sadly she died the same year as my Mom. From a brain tumor when I was 9. </p><p>I still have such good memories of her though.</p><p></p><p>If I had had a Grandma or person who was there. I think I would want them maybe to have a book of photos. Good ones, from when my Dad was a baby through my childhood on up. Even if I was not in them. </p><p>Maybe a journal of what you saw and see about his Dad and the good things over the years. You can give it to him one day. </p><p>I would have loved something like that for either my Mom or Dad.</p><p></p><p>Just know that it is OK to not have a Father. It really is. My Dad did worse damage when he was around. It was better for him to be gone. </p><p>Same with my Mom over time, she was emotionally vacant. She needed help also. </p><p>I hope he sees that being with out his child would be such a loss. But you can make it all right. </p><p>Just being there is so much.</p><p>My family was honest with me about my Dad. I knew he was a heroin addict. </p><p>They thought it would be better for all of us to not be caught up in his lifestyle. </p><p>None of the answers were right, for a child. How could they be? </p><p>The rest of the family will give this kid plenty of love and teach him he does not need to be angry, just because his Dad has some issues that keep him from being the Father that he needs to and wants to be.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="totoro, post: 209486, member: 3155"] you are already one step ahead of most, trying and planning on making things better. My Dad was in prison a lot of my baby years and then he was gone. Up until I was 13, then it was lots of drugs, so he was still gone. Looking back, My Mom's Mom. Grandma Nancy was so much a special person in my life. She made me feel safe. Sadly she died the same year as my Mom. From a brain tumor when I was 9. I still have such good memories of her though. If I had had a Grandma or person who was there. I think I would want them maybe to have a book of photos. Good ones, from when my Dad was a baby through my childhood on up. Even if I was not in them. Maybe a journal of what you saw and see about his Dad and the good things over the years. You can give it to him one day. I would have loved something like that for either my Mom or Dad. Just know that it is OK to not have a Father. It really is. My Dad did worse damage when he was around. It was better for him to be gone. Same with my Mom over time, she was emotionally vacant. She needed help also. I hope he sees that being with out his child would be such a loss. But you can make it all right. Just being there is so much. My family was honest with me about my Dad. I knew he was a heroin addict. They thought it would be better for all of us to not be caught up in his lifestyle. None of the answers were right, for a child. How could they be? The rest of the family will give this kid plenty of love and teach him he does not need to be angry, just because his Dad has some issues that keep him from being the Father that he needs to and wants to be. [/QUOTE]
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