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How do you help a fatherless child?
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<blockquote data-quote="Stella Johnson" data-source="post: 209699" data-attributes="member: 9"><p>It is a really tough situation for your poor grandson to have to be in. Poor little guy. </p><p> </p><p>I don't know that you really have to explain anything to him. He will grow up with his father coming in and out as he pleases most likely. </p><p> </p><p>For the time being until he starts school he will probably be ok with that because it will be all he has ever known. I'm glad to hear his mom is so good with him. At least he has one strong parent. </p><p> </p><p>It never really occurred to my difficult child that our single parent household was anything other than normal because that's the way it has been for as long as she could remember. </p><p> </p><p>When she started school she started noticing that the other kids had dads who were around all the time. Then she started asking questions. By 2nd grade she had made up this wonderful father in her mind. She would even tell her little friends how great he was and all the things he did with her. </p><p> </p><p>Having her grandparents (ex's parents) there for her all the time really helped. Her grandpa is more of a father figure than anyone else ever has been in her life. I think that has really filled the void.</p><p> </p><p>In the last few years ex now sees her on his supervised visits but he usually only ends up coming once every month or two instead of every other week like he is supposed to. She doesn't even get upset when he doesn't show because she knows she can't count on him. </p><p> </p><p>I have never bad mouthed him to her. I let her make her own conclusions. If he had come back and decided to be a decent father then great but he didn't. If she asks if he's coming over or if he's really going to buy her something he promised I just say "I don't know honey that's up to him". Then I'm not making him sound bad and I'm also not setting her up to be dissappointed either. </p><p> </p><p>As long as you play a strong role in his life while he is growing up I think you and husband will also help fill the void he might have had with not having your difficult child in his life. WIth the life your difficult child is living now it is probably best that he isn't in his life much at all. You don't want your grandson growing up around a drunken, jobless, jerk either. </p><p> </p><p>So, my answer is just be there for him. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /> </p><p> </p><p>Steph</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Stella Johnson, post: 209699, member: 9"] It is a really tough situation for your poor grandson to have to be in. Poor little guy. I don't know that you really have to explain anything to him. He will grow up with his father coming in and out as he pleases most likely. For the time being until he starts school he will probably be ok with that because it will be all he has ever known. I'm glad to hear his mom is so good with him. At least he has one strong parent. It never really occurred to my difficult child that our single parent household was anything other than normal because that's the way it has been for as long as she could remember. When she started school she started noticing that the other kids had dads who were around all the time. Then she started asking questions. By 2nd grade she had made up this wonderful father in her mind. She would even tell her little friends how great he was and all the things he did with her. Having her grandparents (ex's parents) there for her all the time really helped. Her grandpa is more of a father figure than anyone else ever has been in her life. I think that has really filled the void. In the last few years ex now sees her on his supervised visits but he usually only ends up coming once every month or two instead of every other week like he is supposed to. She doesn't even get upset when he doesn't show because she knows she can't count on him. I have never bad mouthed him to her. I let her make her own conclusions. If he had come back and decided to be a decent father then great but he didn't. If she asks if he's coming over or if he's really going to buy her something he promised I just say "I don't know honey that's up to him". Then I'm not making him sound bad and I'm also not setting her up to be dissappointed either. As long as you play a strong role in his life while he is growing up I think you and husband will also help fill the void he might have had with not having your difficult child in his life. WIth the life your difficult child is living now it is probably best that he isn't in his life much at all. You don't want your grandson growing up around a drunken, jobless, jerk either. So, my answer is just be there for him. :happy: Steph [/QUOTE]
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