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How do you help a homeless and suicidal son?
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<blockquote data-quote="Elsi" data-source="post: 739020" data-attributes="member: 23349"><p>Thank you all so much for your kind words, understanding, and advice. I haven’t heard from him today, and I don’t know whether to be worried or relieved. I want him to be ok so badly, but at the same time I always get a knot in my stomach when he calls because it’s almost always bad news. I don’t know if I should text him or just wait for him to reach out to me. </p><p></p><p>Toughlovin, I’ve been through the jail and prison cycle too and I know what you mean - sometimes it’s a relief because at least you know where they are. N served 6 months for a drunk and disorderly with resisting arrest and assault on an officer. (It was spitting, but they counted that as assault and gave him a felony charge for it.) then he had another 3 months in a court ordered rehab/halfway house. But it ultimately changed him for the better. He moved across the country when he finished probation to get away from old habits and bad influences and started a new life. He is now married to a wonderful woman and has a son and a stepson. He’s finishing an electrician program and will have his journeyman license next year. It hasn’t been without a few bumps in the road, but I am so proud of him and so happy to have my daughter-in-law and grandsons. C has also served time for a DV charge from his ex girlfriend. He completed a court ordered anger management program, and he says that did help him with his anger issues. But he hasn’t addressed his substance abuse issues. I’ve never had a problem saying no to bail or lawyers - they are on their own when they get in trouble with the law, and they know that. </p><p></p><p>Copabanana, you’re right - if I’m honest I don’t want him here. But it’s still hard not to feel guilty saying that. I feel like a terrible mother not wanting my son here. But the thought of reentering the chaos zone makes me feel physically ill. I spent so many years in chaos. </p><p></p><p>Thank you all for sharing your experiences and helping me feel strong in saying no. I’m snuggled up in the guest room with my dying kitty tonight. She’s 20 and the last creature here who lived with me in the midst of all that chaos. We’ve been through a lot together. I’m glad she’s ending her years someplace peaceful, too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsi, post: 739020, member: 23349"] Thank you all so much for your kind words, understanding, and advice. I haven’t heard from him today, and I don’t know whether to be worried or relieved. I want him to be ok so badly, but at the same time I always get a knot in my stomach when he calls because it’s almost always bad news. I don’t know if I should text him or just wait for him to reach out to me. Toughlovin, I’ve been through the jail and prison cycle too and I know what you mean - sometimes it’s a relief because at least you know where they are. N served 6 months for a drunk and disorderly with resisting arrest and assault on an officer. (It was spitting, but they counted that as assault and gave him a felony charge for it.) then he had another 3 months in a court ordered rehab/halfway house. But it ultimately changed him for the better. He moved across the country when he finished probation to get away from old habits and bad influences and started a new life. He is now married to a wonderful woman and has a son and a stepson. He’s finishing an electrician program and will have his journeyman license next year. It hasn’t been without a few bumps in the road, but I am so proud of him and so happy to have my daughter-in-law and grandsons. C has also served time for a DV charge from his ex girlfriend. He completed a court ordered anger management program, and he says that did help him with his anger issues. But he hasn’t addressed his substance abuse issues. I’ve never had a problem saying no to bail or lawyers - they are on their own when they get in trouble with the law, and they know that. Copabanana, you’re right - if I’m honest I don’t want him here. But it’s still hard not to feel guilty saying that. I feel like a terrible mother not wanting my son here. But the thought of reentering the chaos zone makes me feel physically ill. I spent so many years in chaos. Thank you all for sharing your experiences and helping me feel strong in saying no. I’m snuggled up in the guest room with my dying kitty tonight. She’s 20 and the last creature here who lived with me in the midst of all that chaos. We’ve been through a lot together. I’m glad she’s ending her years someplace peaceful, too. [/QUOTE]
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