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General Parenting
How Do You Know When You're Ready For Residential Treatment Center (RTC)?
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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 474727" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>From what you've written, it sounds like he would benefit from the structure of say a boarding school. Which leaves me wondering if you've tried implementing any sort of structure at home mimicking the school setting. Not just an authoritarian "These are the Rules" and that's that, but some sort of schedule and house rules that the whole family has some input on.</p><p></p><p>Things like bedtime, showers, homework time, TV and computer time can be negotiated, but parents have the final say. In return, if he gets bugged by small things like his glass being taken away, then it is NEVER to be taken away by anyone. In return, difficult child has to put it in the dishwasher himself when he is done. And you go through as many things point by point as you can. It can always be amended as issues crop up. Of course, there are also clearly spelled out consequences for things like hitting as well as rewards (nothing major but earned TV or Computer time maybe) for "getting caught" doing good things.</p><p></p><p>In our house, one BIG issue was over a small thing like how sandwiches were cut - triangle or squares. One of the kids would get in a rut of say, triangles all the time, so I would automatically cut them that way. Well, of course, one day a kid decides she wants them in squares. UHG! So I learn to ASK each time. And yes, this happens with my youngest DD2 who I *think* is a true easy child. The difference with her is that she won't have a full tantrum over it - just moderate disappointment. With son, when he was younger, the tantrum was so intense that he REFUSED to eat the *ruined* food.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, just something to think about. If you're already working with a therapist, they can help you get this set up. If you don't already have a therapist, you might want to look into one.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 474727, member: 11965"] From what you've written, it sounds like he would benefit from the structure of say a boarding school. Which leaves me wondering if you've tried implementing any sort of structure at home mimicking the school setting. Not just an authoritarian "These are the Rules" and that's that, but some sort of schedule and house rules that the whole family has some input on. Things like bedtime, showers, homework time, TV and computer time can be negotiated, but parents have the final say. In return, if he gets bugged by small things like his glass being taken away, then it is NEVER to be taken away by anyone. In return, difficult child has to put it in the dishwasher himself when he is done. And you go through as many things point by point as you can. It can always be amended as issues crop up. Of course, there are also clearly spelled out consequences for things like hitting as well as rewards (nothing major but earned TV or Computer time maybe) for "getting caught" doing good things. In our house, one BIG issue was over a small thing like how sandwiches were cut - triangle or squares. One of the kids would get in a rut of say, triangles all the time, so I would automatically cut them that way. Well, of course, one day a kid decides she wants them in squares. UHG! So I learn to ASK each time. And yes, this happens with my youngest DD2 who I *think* is a true easy child. The difference with her is that she won't have a full tantrum over it - just moderate disappointment. With son, when he was younger, the tantrum was so intense that he REFUSED to eat the *ruined* food. Anyway, just something to think about. If you're already working with a therapist, they can help you get this set up. If you don't already have a therapist, you might want to look into one. [/QUOTE]
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