How do you know when to fight for our difficult children and when to "detach"...? I have really been struggling with this lately. I guess on some level, I am still hoping to "fix" it. Find the magic cure....the right pill....the correct words to say...and then difficult child will not be a difficult child any longer. I catch myself trying to reason with her....pleading with her....explaining to her--and of course, it changes nothing. Then I swing the other direction and try really hard to detach about some of her choices and her attitudes and the direction she seems to be heading in life. Inevitably, something will happen to draw me back in and I try to "fix" everything again. Yesterday was a perfect example. She was SOOOOOO nasty to everyone, for no reason. Then she started making comments about how she doesn't care about anything and doesn't care about her life--and then I start. I start trying to reason with her....trying to convince her to care....to make good choices. Of course, the conversation went nowhere. Later, we were watching a television program about life in prison. They were talking about 'prison code'...ie-how inmates treat one another, beat up on the weaklings, get revenge on snitches etc. difficult child seemed waaaayyyy too approving of "prison code". She began talking how how that was right and that's what she'll do to anybody that doesn't 'respect' her... Hearing my child talk that way is scary. So what do I do? I start trying to reason with her again. I try to convince her that she doesn't mean what she says. That she's a nice girl and shouldn't be thinking about beating people up for disrespecting her...etc etc etc. And once again, this conversation goes nowhere. How do I get out of this mode where I try to "fix" everything? I really want to "save" her.... Is that even possible? Do I need to stop hoping????