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How do you look to the future?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 480723" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Deal with the now. I agree, this sounds like depression. And she does care, perhaps too much. But it all seems insurmountable.</p><p></p><p>Think about how you are feeling right now - panicked, desperate, yet also not seeing any future for her. Now realise that you yourself do have a life, you have a past and a future, you have a much better idea of what life holds for you, than she does. And if YOU feel this bad...</p><p></p><p>But I do hear you on needing some sense of direction. My own view, it may not work for you because I don't know what your educational options are - be prepared to walk away from high school ambitions. Consider alternative life pathways. Here we have adult education colleges although students can start there at age 15 or thereabouts. There are also menial jobs you can get when young - the golden arches are a good place to start. From my own past experience, when I was just leaving my teens and had had more than I could cope with (nervous breakdown?) I managed my own inability to cope with stress and change by working in a fairly menial, routine job and maintaining a strict routine. My job had me working mostly on my own (definitely not typing pool!) and as I increasingly grew to hate my job, I gradually got the emotional resilience to begin to change my own life.</p><p></p><p>In my late teens I had to drop out of uni, I tried hard but just could not pass. I could not understand why I was doing so badly and finally I threw in the towel. I found out years later, had it confirmed only a couple of years ago, that the reason I was failing was because I did not offer myself sexually to my uni tutors and lecturers. I had suspected this but thought I was paranoid, until I met another former student who had a similar tale.</p><p>I went back to uni, same lecturers/tutors, years later after I was married, and sailed through with brilliant marks. Being married had me off limits, it seems. I did not get my uni degree until I was in my 30s.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes life is not fair, and sometimes we need to change direction. Continuing to beat your head against a brick wall is unproductive. If you can get a fast fix, then great. But if you can't, then the time you spend trying is time lost form her education pathway. If she could have been flipping burgers instead, at least she would be getting a work ethic, and an income of sorts. This helps self-esteem and begins to give back some hope.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 480723, member: 1991"] Deal with the now. I agree, this sounds like depression. And she does care, perhaps too much. But it all seems insurmountable. Think about how you are feeling right now - panicked, desperate, yet also not seeing any future for her. Now realise that you yourself do have a life, you have a past and a future, you have a much better idea of what life holds for you, than she does. And if YOU feel this bad... But I do hear you on needing some sense of direction. My own view, it may not work for you because I don't know what your educational options are - be prepared to walk away from high school ambitions. Consider alternative life pathways. Here we have adult education colleges although students can start there at age 15 or thereabouts. There are also menial jobs you can get when young - the golden arches are a good place to start. From my own past experience, when I was just leaving my teens and had had more than I could cope with (nervous breakdown?) I managed my own inability to cope with stress and change by working in a fairly menial, routine job and maintaining a strict routine. My job had me working mostly on my own (definitely not typing pool!) and as I increasingly grew to hate my job, I gradually got the emotional resilience to begin to change my own life. In my late teens I had to drop out of uni, I tried hard but just could not pass. I could not understand why I was doing so badly and finally I threw in the towel. I found out years later, had it confirmed only a couple of years ago, that the reason I was failing was because I did not offer myself sexually to my uni tutors and lecturers. I had suspected this but thought I was paranoid, until I met another former student who had a similar tale. I went back to uni, same lecturers/tutors, years later after I was married, and sailed through with brilliant marks. Being married had me off limits, it seems. I did not get my uni degree until I was in my 30s. Sometimes life is not fair, and sometimes we need to change direction. Continuing to beat your head against a brick wall is unproductive. If you can get a fast fix, then great. But if you can't, then the time you spend trying is time lost form her education pathway. If she could have been flipping burgers instead, at least she would be getting a work ethic, and an income of sorts. This helps self-esteem and begins to give back some hope. Marg [/QUOTE]
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