How do you maintain a positive paradigm?

[Abbey]

When I lived in Florida, I LOVED the squirrels. They are crafty devils. We had the spinning corn feeder (hysterical, they would twirl round and round)...they would go completely inside our bird feeders.

That, along the Rocky, the racoon who would wedge his body inside of a small bird feeder. He eventually got comfortable enough with us that he would take strawberries from our hand. He'd come by every day.

I hope your daughter finds some small thing to smile at. It's amazing what something small will do.

Abbey

 

[witzend]

I had a horrible time with depression earlier in my life. It was self perpetuating, and it made me an easy target for abuse. I don't know whether it was years and years and years of therapy, medications, removing myself from toxic people, or a combination of the three, but it came to me that there are many things in life to feel good about if we will only let ourselves. The leaves are coming out on the trees. The hummingbirds come to the feeder I have attached to my picture window. The dogs do what I tell them to (even if no one else does) and love me for it. Someone smiled at me yesterday when I let them into traffic from a parking lot.

These are the little things that are there for everyone if they choose to see them. I want you to find them for Amber and share them with her. She will never see those things for herself again, but she's with you and you can make her happy if you will only help her to see. We know that whatever happened in her dying that it was not happy. Help her afterlife to be good. It will make your going on day to day worthwhile.

 

[Steely]

Thanks guys............and toto.........no you did not say the wrong thing! Far from it! I feel your confidence in me, all the way down here in the southern armpit of the US. Thanks I do hope that somehow I can channel everything into a positive forum - someday. A support group, a book, a charity, something.

After reading all your posts last night, and then again this morning - it was weird how I did start to think about all of the little things and try be thankful.

I went out and gardened today for the first time in 6 months. SIX months - I have never been that long without running my hands through soil. My poor garden! Despite the fact it is 90 here with 90% humidity, I really did find some peace in doing my very favorite thing.

Maybe it really is all in the little things, and here I have been wanting to make it so complicated.

 

[witzend]

Maybe it really is all in the little things

It really is.

 

[dreamer]

Oh, how I surprised myself a couple years ago when for the first time in my life I went outside and decided to plant something. I never dreamed how I would LOVE being in a garden, even in the dirt (LOL maybe especially in the dirt!) The sun shining on me, warming me, the solitude, the beauty of the little plants emerging, the fascination with the bugs, birds etc......and the anticipation and joy of flowers or veggies! I actually do sit smack on my heinie right smack dab in the middle of the dirt, literally, and I use very few tools and no gloves, and my poor gnarly hands LOVED the PT of moving around in the warm earth.
once I get going, I can hardly wait to dress in mornings to race out to see if all is well in my garden, and later in the day they often have to come pry me out becuz they want dinner..I get so lost in my garden.

 

[Nomad]

I'm very glad you are feeling more confidence and that you gardened today.

You said that you've read all or most of the books suggest by Oprah. Have you read Happiness Now? Some of the things you mentioned in one of your posts were directly addressed in this book...so perhaps it could be of additional help.

From amazon.com

Product Description

Happiness NOW! is a truly powerful and radical exploration of one of life's most treasured goals. Packed with rich insights and practical wisdom, It offers a message of profound hope and healing for a generation that is often too busy chasing happiness to be truly happy.
Robert Holden, Ph.D., presents a personal, warm, and entertaining account of how he developed his pioneering work with The Happiness Project. Using a highly creative mix of stories, exercises, meditations, poetry, and prayer, Robert shares his distinctive philosophy and practice of 'the how of happiness.'
Visionary and practical, challenging and compassionate, Happiness NOW! gives you valuable keys to true self-acceptance, everyday abundance, loving relationships, inner success, and lasting joy—starting NOW!

The greatest pain of all is the fear that happiness might somehow elude us forever; the greatest joy of all is the realization that the potential for happiness is available to us now and always.



About the Author

Robert Holden, Ph.D., is the Director of The Happiness Project and Success Intelligence. His innovative work on happiness and success has been featured on Oprah and in two major BBC-TV documentaries, The Happiness Formula and How to Be Happy, shown in 16 countries to more than 30 million television viewers. He's the author of ten best-selling books, including Success Intelligence and Shift Happens!