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How do you maintain a positive paradigm?
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<blockquote data-quote="Big Bad Kitty" data-source="post: 147773" data-attributes="member: 3647"><p>Well for starters, considering you are grieving, nobody expects you skipping through fields, tossing rose petals and singing "oh what a beautiful morning".</p><p></p><p>You have situational depression. This is in addition to the clinical depression that you are already bring treated for. You may or may not need a medication tweak. My doctor was adamant NOT to change my medications even when I was going through a very rough patch and was very depressed. I eventually got out of it. Here is what helped me.</p><p></p><p>Start a gratitude journal. It can be in a notebook. Does not have to be fancy. But you may want to go ahead and get yourself a pretty book and a special pen just for this. I did. My pen is purple ink. Every day, write down 5 things that you are grateful for. Any 5 things. When we get depressed, it gets way too easy to fall into constant negative thinking. "Oh jeeze. My kid is at it again. Why can't he/she just be normal? and the car is acting up. And my boss is a moron. And I have absolutely no idea what to make for dinner. OMG, I hate this. I have nothing to wear!!" You go on and on.</p><p></p><p>Just a little adjustment in your focus makes a huge deal. I am grateful that I HAVE a job, because SO MANY people do not. I am grateful that I have food in my home, because there are so many people who will not get a nourishing meal today. I am grateful that I HAVE a child, because I have that unconditional love. I am grateful for the sunshine/rain /snow today, because we've needed the sun / it's been too dry / it's been so hot. I am grateful that my UGLY VAN runs!</p><p></p><p>You see where I am going with that? It really is a minor change, but it gives a whole new outlook. Once you get into the habit of that, it gets easier to look at everything positively. </p><p></p><p>I mentioned my dad in my last post. He is the type of person, that if he drops something, he will swear for 5 minutes, pick up what he dropped, and chuck it against the wall, usually breaking it and making a huge mess. He cannot believe it when he sees me just go "whoops" and pick up whatever fell. Even if something broke. So what? I pick it up and get on with my life. Not him. He starts this "why does this have to happen to me" crapola. </p><p></p><p>He is an extreme case, to be sure. But you get my point. It will feel awkward at first, as does anything that you are not used to doing. Once it becomes habit, not only will it not feel weird, it will feel natural, and it will feel good.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Big Bad Kitty, post: 147773, member: 3647"] Well for starters, considering you are grieving, nobody expects you skipping through fields, tossing rose petals and singing "oh what a beautiful morning". You have situational depression. This is in addition to the clinical depression that you are already bring treated for. You may or may not need a medication tweak. My doctor was adamant NOT to change my medications even when I was going through a very rough patch and was very depressed. I eventually got out of it. Here is what helped me. Start a gratitude journal. It can be in a notebook. Does not have to be fancy. But you may want to go ahead and get yourself a pretty book and a special pen just for this. I did. My pen is purple ink. Every day, write down 5 things that you are grateful for. Any 5 things. When we get depressed, it gets way too easy to fall into constant negative thinking. "Oh jeeze. My kid is at it again. Why can't he/she just be normal? and the car is acting up. And my boss is a moron. And I have absolutely no idea what to make for dinner. OMG, I hate this. I have nothing to wear!!" You go on and on. Just a little adjustment in your focus makes a huge deal. I am grateful that I HAVE a job, because SO MANY people do not. I am grateful that I have food in my home, because there are so many people who will not get a nourishing meal today. I am grateful that I HAVE a child, because I have that unconditional love. I am grateful for the sunshine/rain /snow today, because we've needed the sun / it's been too dry / it's been so hot. I am grateful that my UGLY VAN runs! You see where I am going with that? It really is a minor change, but it gives a whole new outlook. Once you get into the habit of that, it gets easier to look at everything positively. I mentioned my dad in my last post. He is the type of person, that if he drops something, he will swear for 5 minutes, pick up what he dropped, and chuck it against the wall, usually breaking it and making a huge mess. He cannot believe it when he sees me just go "whoops" and pick up whatever fell. Even if something broke. So what? I pick it up and get on with my life. Not him. He starts this "why does this have to happen to me" crapola. He is an extreme case, to be sure. But you get my point. It will feel awkward at first, as does anything that you are not used to doing. Once it becomes habit, not only will it not feel weird, it will feel natural, and it will feel good. [/QUOTE]
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