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How do you regain a fresh perspective with difficult child?
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<blockquote data-quote="Farmwife" data-source="post: 370213" data-attributes="member: 8617"><p>Wanted your HUSQVARNA ?!?!?! <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/surprise.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":surprise:" title="surprise :surprise:" data-shortname=":surprise:" /></p><p> </p><p>Weather is an issue here because we get down to 2 degrees F with an even colder wind chill. We were going to park it next to a rather large machine shed and put a fence on the other side to block wind. Plus, we are on a rural co-op for electric which makes it low enough to anger city dwellers. </p><p> </p><p>However...</p><p> </p><p>We looked at the trailer and saw very quickly (if you ignore the 2 hour drive each way) that we wouldn't have hauled it off if they paid us. It was sooooo awful that we couldn't be mad at the way they tried to *fluff* their ad because we couldn't stop laughing at how glad we were that they were still stuck with it rather than us.</p><p> </p><p>Then we got a free bonus...</p><p> </p><p>Since difficult child was intolerable prior to the choice we informed him that his car fund was going to buy the trailer and he had to start over for the car fund. Us actually going to see it rather than talk about it changed his attitude. He was so happy we didn't buy it that he has been a real joy all week. I think everytime he makes me mad I will go look at another one. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p> </p><p>While I realize there is so much potential for him to abuse the freedom I still think it is something we will do for him in the next year anyway. He is 16 and undoubtedly will be a late late bloomer into adulthood. I saw this as a chance for us to get privacy, away from his moods and best of all a way to slowly ease him into adulthood. I thought that with his own space he may be less likely to want to move out and into a possibly bad situation when he is 18, just to get out from under our roof. This was sort of a starter apartment to learn about running a "household". Then he would not feel rushed and could still *feel* like a *real* adult and build confidence at his own pace. Then I could let go of worries about him transitioning by knowing he had a safety net in place.</p><p> </p><p>Basically the freedom he craves with the piece of mind I need. He has to face the perils of making choices sometime anyway. At least this way I can look out for him when he wants me to and know he isn't homeless on those 2 degree nights.</p><p> </p><p>(there was always the fear he may not be able to sustain himself as an adult too and we need to have our own lives back at some point)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Farmwife, post: 370213, member: 8617"] Wanted your HUSQVARNA ?!?!?! :surprised1: Weather is an issue here because we get down to 2 degrees F with an even colder wind chill. We were going to park it next to a rather large machine shed and put a fence on the other side to block wind. Plus, we are on a rural co-op for electric which makes it low enough to anger city dwellers. However... We looked at the trailer and saw very quickly (if you ignore the 2 hour drive each way) that we wouldn't have hauled it off if they paid us. It was sooooo awful that we couldn't be mad at the way they tried to *fluff* their ad because we couldn't stop laughing at how glad we were that they were still stuck with it rather than us. Then we got a free bonus... Since difficult child was intolerable prior to the choice we informed him that his car fund was going to buy the trailer and he had to start over for the car fund. Us actually going to see it rather than talk about it changed his attitude. He was so happy we didn't buy it that he has been a real joy all week. I think everytime he makes me mad I will go look at another one. :winking: While I realize there is so much potential for him to abuse the freedom I still think it is something we will do for him in the next year anyway. He is 16 and undoubtedly will be a late late bloomer into adulthood. I saw this as a chance for us to get privacy, away from his moods and best of all a way to slowly ease him into adulthood. I thought that with his own space he may be less likely to want to move out and into a possibly bad situation when he is 18, just to get out from under our roof. This was sort of a starter apartment to learn about running a "household". Then he would not feel rushed and could still *feel* like a *real* adult and build confidence at his own pace. Then I could let go of worries about him transitioning by knowing he had a safety net in place. Basically the freedom he craves with the piece of mind I need. He has to face the perils of making choices sometime anyway. At least this way I can look out for him when he wants me to and know he isn't homeless on those 2 degree nights. (there was always the fear he may not be able to sustain himself as an adult too and we need to have our own lives back at some point) [/QUOTE]
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