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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 709000" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi ravis</p><p></p><p>I want to make 2 quick points. (really I will get to the point.)</p><p></p><p>There is a quote by your son somewhere that I cannot find, your son talks about the STUPID DOCTORS....*I loved it.</p><p>He must really think YOU GUYS are quite dumb that YOU DO NOT get already his situation. He sees you as all-powerful and as loving him immensely and intensely. He KNOWS you could make him feel better and TRUSTS implicitly that you WOULD, if he is just able to get you to understand how HORRIBLE he feels. He is telling you OVER and OVER again HOW TERRIBLE he feels. And you and the doctors in your dumbness DO NOT GET IT. It is not, I think, that he is mad. He feels his JOB is to demonstrate to you exactly what is the problem. And he tries over and over again to communicate his distress. YOU ARE NOT GETTING IT. So he repeats. Then the anger sets in even worse.</p><p></p><p>He thinks you are all-powerful and in a sense omnipotent, I think. That is how children think of their parents, initially. Because he is suffering so, he has maintained this attitude borne now of desperation. With spiritual direction he would learn to transfer this orientation to g-d (which it seems he is already doing to some extent.)</p><p>Forgive me, again. I am putting my own point of view. It helps me to understand better my way of thinking about life, which is evolving.</p><p>You know I have lived my whole adult life within the framework of the culture of mental illness. First, because I sought help through therapy, and then because I became a doctoral level practitioner. I regret this trap, because I believe that it what it is, in part.</p><p></p><p>I know your child is disturbed and distressed. And depressed. But are you aware that there are places where for example there is no diagnosis of schizophrenia, because of how the societies respond to symptoms of psychosis? How they understand mental illness and respond to it (community and family-based) are so effective that the afflicted do not display symptoms or distress long enough to ever qualify for a diagnosis of schizophrenia which requires I believe 6 months duration of symptoms.</p><p></p><p>In this society through this lens we call suffering of the type you describe as mental illness. In other cultures they may call it other things: like brilliance or spirituality or intense creativity, or other things.</p><p></p><p>Now I realize that symptoms are real. And so is trauma. And so is serious illness. These are real things. And there is no lens that can eradicate what is real.</p><p></p><p>What we know about your child is that he has suffered for a long time.</p><p></p><p>The cessation of suffering is what is important. The discovery of meaning and purpose. That is what is important. Not the lens or the diagnosis or the category. The intervention is what is important. And how somebody sees something, is what determines how they respond and what they do. Mental illness is a categorization. It empowers the provider, often, not the sufferer.</p><p></p><p>That is why I keep mentioning spiritual direction and expressive arts therapy because people in these perspectives will see what is happening in a different way that could potentially lead your child out of this suffering to thriving. And you and me too.</p><p></p><p>I am grateful that you posted. I hope you come back and tell us how you are. I know that I am not the only one who has come to care about you and your son. I have learned a great deal by posting to you and I am grateful to you for that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 709000, member: 18958"] Hi ravis I want to make 2 quick points. (really I will get to the point.) There is a quote by your son somewhere that I cannot find, your son talks about the STUPID DOCTORS....*I loved it. He must really think YOU GUYS are quite dumb that YOU DO NOT get already his situation. He sees you as all-powerful and as loving him immensely and intensely. He KNOWS you could make him feel better and TRUSTS implicitly that you WOULD, if he is just able to get you to understand how HORRIBLE he feels. He is telling you OVER and OVER again HOW TERRIBLE he feels. And you and the doctors in your dumbness DO NOT GET IT. It is not, I think, that he is mad. He feels his JOB is to demonstrate to you exactly what is the problem. And he tries over and over again to communicate his distress. YOU ARE NOT GETTING IT. So he repeats. Then the anger sets in even worse. He thinks you are all-powerful and in a sense omnipotent, I think. That is how children think of their parents, initially. Because he is suffering so, he has maintained this attitude borne now of desperation. With spiritual direction he would learn to transfer this orientation to g-d (which it seems he is already doing to some extent.) Forgive me, again. I am putting my own point of view. It helps me to understand better my way of thinking about life, which is evolving. You know I have lived my whole adult life within the framework of the culture of mental illness. First, because I sought help through therapy, and then because I became a doctoral level practitioner. I regret this trap, because I believe that it what it is, in part. I know your child is disturbed and distressed. And depressed. But are you aware that there are places where for example there is no diagnosis of schizophrenia, because of how the societies respond to symptoms of psychosis? How they understand mental illness and respond to it (community and family-based) are so effective that the afflicted do not display symptoms or distress long enough to ever qualify for a diagnosis of schizophrenia which requires I believe 6 months duration of symptoms. In this society through this lens we call suffering of the type you describe as mental illness. In other cultures they may call it other things: like brilliance or spirituality or intense creativity, or other things. Now I realize that symptoms are real. And so is trauma. And so is serious illness. These are real things. And there is no lens that can eradicate what is real. What we know about your child is that he has suffered for a long time. The cessation of suffering is what is important. The discovery of meaning and purpose. That is what is important. Not the lens or the diagnosis or the category. The intervention is what is important. And how somebody sees something, is what determines how they respond and what they do. Mental illness is a categorization. It empowers the provider, often, not the sufferer. That is why I keep mentioning spiritual direction and expressive arts therapy because people in these perspectives will see what is happening in a different way that could potentially lead your child out of this suffering to thriving. And you and me too. I am grateful that you posted. I hope you come back and tell us how you are. I know that I am not the only one who has come to care about you and your son. I have learned a great deal by posting to you and I am grateful to you for that. [/QUOTE]
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