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<blockquote data-quote="Alttlgabby" data-source="post: 266928" data-attributes="member: 6786"><p>This is a control issue - in the past, the kids were feeling very vulnerable when it comes to food and at some level are always doing their utmost to never, ever be in that position again. So the more you try to control their access to food, the more they will be doing their bit to make sure that they will always have the over-riding control.</p><p> </p><p>Oh yes, I figured very much this was a control issue. I have a control issue with difficult child 2 as well. She doesn't want to throw anything away and I think that is her way of trying to hang on to as many things she can as possible. When they lived with Mom, many times their stuff got sold out from under them. Once I know of they had stuff in storage that Mom didn't pay for, so it all got taken. </p><p></p><p>You can either lock up the snack foods, or simply don't have it at all. If the special foods you have for the son with braces, is OK for him to eat, then it should also be OK for difficult child 1 to eat too. She mightn't physically need the extra TLC but it seems that emotionally, she does. And sometimes when it's more freely available, the novelty is gone and she may be more likely to comply.</p><p> </p><p>It isn't that she CAN'T have the same snacks as the son with braces, she CAN, but she has to ask for them. </p><p></p><p>An alternative suggestion with the ramen noodles - she should learn to eat them the way the Japanese do, by adding extra ingredients to make them a more balanced, healthier meal. Unless she has a weight problem, I wouldbe letting her eat more of these things as long as she is eating her proper meals too.</p><p></p><p> </p><p>She definately has a weight problem. She is only in the 4th&#37;. :-( If I allow her to just do what she wants with the eating, I have no doubt that she will stuff herself silly. Right now, I want her asking for snacks because I want to make sure that she IS making the right choices about her foods. She is allowed one snack a day that is not so healthy. The rest have to be healthy choices. In the year she has been with me, she has gained 27 lbs (as of Feb 11th), and I know that is because essentially, I am forcing her to eat healthier. She has also grown 4 inches! Her sister has gained 20 lbs, and 4-1/2 inches. She has not known in the past HOW to make healthy choices because she never had that option in the home before.She doesn't eat things at school if she decides she doesn't like it (veggies/fruits/etc). I just don't want to let her hoard snacks or just eat all the time because I don't want to end up going the other direction in the future. The girls brother is on the chunky side, but I think that is due to him being a bit older and being able to go to friends homes where he could eat. I am sure that in the home, he most likely snuck food as well. We had a major problem with him here and eating us out of house and home and nobody else getting things because he would eat it all. I finally had to just hide things in the trunk of my car. </p><p>Meals in our home are usually cooked by me at least 4 times a week, sometimes more, depending on what we are doing. And we normally eat around the same time every evening. We do a lot of grilling. And the girls have had a lot of different varieties of foods they have never had before, so that has been an experience for them. Most of it they have liked, thank goodness!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Alttlgabby, post: 266928, member: 6786"] This is a control issue - in the past, the kids were feeling very vulnerable when it comes to food and at some level are always doing their utmost to never, ever be in that position again. So the more you try to control their access to food, the more they will be doing their bit to make sure that they will always have the over-riding control. Oh yes, I figured very much this was a control issue. I have a control issue with difficult child 2 as well. She doesn't want to throw anything away and I think that is her way of trying to hang on to as many things she can as possible. When they lived with Mom, many times their stuff got sold out from under them. Once I know of they had stuff in storage that Mom didn't pay for, so it all got taken. You can either lock up the snack foods, or simply don't have it at all. If the special foods you have for the son with braces, is OK for him to eat, then it should also be OK for difficult child 1 to eat too. She mightn't physically need the extra TLC but it seems that emotionally, she does. And sometimes when it's more freely available, the novelty is gone and she may be more likely to comply. It isn't that she CAN'T have the same snacks as the son with braces, she CAN, but she has to ask for them. An alternative suggestion with the ramen noodles - she should learn to eat them the way the Japanese do, by adding extra ingredients to make them a more balanced, healthier meal. Unless she has a weight problem, I wouldbe letting her eat more of these things as long as she is eating her proper meals too. She definately has a weight problem. She is only in the 4th%. :-( If I allow her to just do what she wants with the eating, I have no doubt that she will stuff herself silly. Right now, I want her asking for snacks because I want to make sure that she IS making the right choices about her foods. She is allowed one snack a day that is not so healthy. The rest have to be healthy choices. In the year she has been with me, she has gained 27 lbs (as of Feb 11th), and I know that is because essentially, I am forcing her to eat healthier. She has also grown 4 inches! Her sister has gained 20 lbs, and 4-1/2 inches. She has not known in the past HOW to make healthy choices because she never had that option in the home before.She doesn't eat things at school if she decides she doesn't like it (veggies/fruits/etc). I just don't want to let her hoard snacks or just eat all the time because I don't want to end up going the other direction in the future. The girls brother is on the chunky side, but I think that is due to him being a bit older and being able to go to friends homes where he could eat. I am sure that in the home, he most likely snuck food as well. We had a major problem with him here and eating us out of house and home and nobody else getting things because he would eat it all. I finally had to just hide things in the trunk of my car. Meals in our home are usually cooked by me at least 4 times a week, sometimes more, depending on what we are doing. And we normally eat around the same time every evening. We do a lot of grilling. And the girls have had a lot of different varieties of foods they have never had before, so that has been an experience for them. Most of it they have liked, thank goodness! [/QUOTE]
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