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How does everyone cope??
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 305778"><p>CFA 3</p><p> </p><p>Welcome...</p><p> </p><p>Coping was NOT very easy for husband and I. Sometimes I would think it was because we literally have no relatives and had NO one to help us. Few friends wanted or could help either...a lonely and difficult existence.</p><p> </p><p>We learned over the years to find babysitters and pay extra for a brief night out. Sometimes husband and I would go out for 1.5 hours to kmart shopping on a Friday night or to an inexpensive restaurant...literally ANYTHING. We would pay the sitter EXTRA 'cause we were no fools...staying with- our difficult child was extra work. We always got really goooood people....really responsible hard working young people or adults and we didn't stay out long.</p><p> </p><p>I too homeschooled my child...back then they didn't have many virtual/on line type programs available.</p><p> </p><p>In retrospect...I'm kinda glad I did...but I would NOT recommend you do it for the long haul. It is not good for YOU.</p><p> </p><p>At some point, if you could do a half and half program...I did this too and it was GREAT.</p><p> </p><p>I sent difficult child to regular school for two classes and homeschooled her for the rest. This was by and large the BEST YEARS OF SCHOOLING FOR difficult child. It was important for her to have some social interaction and she was able to reign herself in for the two periods rather nicely. </p><p> </p><p>Is your child seeing a therapist? Also, if your psychiatrist (MD) doesn't have a diagnosis or at least is not formulating one, it might be a good idea to seek a second opinion. You might ask your pediatrician or other mothers or school administrators for recommendations. If you hear a name more than once...go for it!</p><p> </p><p>More on coping....</p><p>Make sure you take extremely good care of yourself and your relationship with- your husband. Do NOT make your life center completely around your child. Sure, your child is basically a special needs child and requires some extra time and care.</p><p> </p><p>However, it is important to TAKE TIME to nurture yourself and your relationship with- your spouse or your health and your relationships will suffer.</p><p> </p><p>Are there any other children? Those relationships will have to have attention as well. Perhaps your husband can watch your difficult child, while one of you takes the other to a movie or McDonalds once in awhile or you can have a relative take one out for ice cream...be creative...do a little something to give them attention.</p><p> </p><p>Are there any psychological diagnosis's in your family or that of the children's father? You might want to read up on these things...see if there are any similar symptoms. Whatever symptoms you observe...you might want to read up on what you find and see if you can start bringing some things to the attention of the doctor.</p><p> </p><p>At some point soon, consider taking your child to a therapist...a psychologist or mental health counselor for talk therapy. </p><p>This might not be a bad thing for you to consider as well...certainly would help you cope with- the enormous burden of having a special needs child.</p><p> </p><p>Sending you good thoughts.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 305778"] CFA 3 Welcome... Coping was NOT very easy for husband and I. Sometimes I would think it was because we literally have no relatives and had NO one to help us. Few friends wanted or could help either...a lonely and difficult existence. We learned over the years to find babysitters and pay extra for a brief night out. Sometimes husband and I would go out for 1.5 hours to kmart shopping on a Friday night or to an inexpensive restaurant...literally ANYTHING. We would pay the sitter EXTRA 'cause we were no fools...staying with- our difficult child was extra work. We always got really goooood people....really responsible hard working young people or adults and we didn't stay out long. I too homeschooled my child...back then they didn't have many virtual/on line type programs available. In retrospect...I'm kinda glad I did...but I would NOT recommend you do it for the long haul. It is not good for YOU. At some point, if you could do a half and half program...I did this too and it was GREAT. I sent difficult child to regular school for two classes and homeschooled her for the rest. This was by and large the BEST YEARS OF SCHOOLING FOR difficult child. It was important for her to have some social interaction and she was able to reign herself in for the two periods rather nicely. Is your child seeing a therapist? Also, if your psychiatrist (MD) doesn't have a diagnosis or at least is not formulating one, it might be a good idea to seek a second opinion. You might ask your pediatrician or other mothers or school administrators for recommendations. If you hear a name more than once...go for it! More on coping.... Make sure you take extremely good care of yourself and your relationship with- your husband. Do NOT make your life center completely around your child. Sure, your child is basically a special needs child and requires some extra time and care. However, it is important to TAKE TIME to nurture yourself and your relationship with- your spouse or your health and your relationships will suffer. Are there any other children? Those relationships will have to have attention as well. Perhaps your husband can watch your difficult child, while one of you takes the other to a movie or McDonalds once in awhile or you can have a relative take one out for ice cream...be creative...do a little something to give them attention. Are there any psychological diagnosis's in your family or that of the children's father? You might want to read up on these things...see if there are any similar symptoms. Whatever symptoms you observe...you might want to read up on what you find and see if you can start bringing some things to the attention of the doctor. At some point soon, consider taking your child to a therapist...a psychologist or mental health counselor for talk therapy. This might not be a bad thing for you to consider as well...certainly would help you cope with- the enormous burden of having a special needs child. Sending you good thoughts. [/QUOTE]
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