How does this sound

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by KFld, Nov 30, 2007.

  1. KFld

    KFld New Member

    This is the wording I put on a nice holiday decorated note to include in my xmas cards this year to those who may not know of my new living arrangements. What do you all think?





    Happy Holidays!
    I wanted to include this family update to those of you who aren’t already aware
    of the changes in our family over the past few months. Dave and I have
    separated and Calin and I have a new address. Our new address is
    --------------------.
    Though we are very cozy in our new home, it is only temporary and by next
    holiday season we will have a more permanent address.
    D.J. is doing great and is currently sharing an apartment with his girlfriend
    Amanda, whom we all love. Dave is still living on *****Road with
    our babyAngel (dog) that we have shared custody of :smile: My dad will be coming in from Florida on the 23rd to spend the holidays with us and
    we are all looking forward to a healthy and happy holiday
    season and we wish the same for all our friends and family.



     
  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    I still say, just sign it from yourself and your daughter. That is a lot of info in a Christmas card.
     
  3. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I agree with BBK. I think if you sign the card from just you and your daughter, along with a clear return address on the envelope, people will 'get it'. You can then field calls as they come in. More than likely, people will not call and will instead just ask around.

    Are you sending cards to his side of the family as well? Just curious. When I separated from my exh a million years ago, I only sent it to the few people in his family we were close with and who were suppotive and non-judgemental.
     
  4. I'm going crazy!!!

    I'm going crazy!!! New Member

    I think it sounds fine but i personally would only send it to a select few. JMO
     
  5. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I think I would also just sign it from the two of you, and return address on the envelope

    "Kfld & difficult child
    New Address
    New Town, Florida 00000"

    The reason I say this is that a dear friend is going through a divorce and at the beginning she sent out a mass e-mail from their joint e-mail account saying, essentially "I regret to inform you that due to husband's behavior we are seperating." Then he started sending her e-mails and carbon copying her friends, or worse yet blind copying her friends. She retaliated in kind from time to time. All of her friends told her to stop, as she had sent him one saying "I know my friends support me..." When she mentioned this, a good mutual friend told her "I don't support you in doing that. It's like finding myself outside your bedroom window watching and listening to things I don't want to see or hear."

    I know that your proposed note isn't nearly as extreme, but the subtleties of "Love, Kfld & difficult child" will say all that needs to be said in such a public way. Those who didn't know already and care enough about you will call to find out what is going on. Those who already knew will admire your class.

     
  6. KateM

    KateM Member

    I'm with BBK and Jo. Just send your Christmas greetings and sign it from you and your daughter. The people who need to know your living situation already do know.To those that don't, it is too much info for a holiday greeting card, in my humble opinion.
     
  7. skeeter

    skeeter New Member

    When I divorced, I just signed the card with my name and the kids, and on the opposite side of the card put: note new address and phone number and listed them.

    Most people figured it out on their own.
     
  8. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    too much information too much information!!!

    Mystery ALWAYS makes those who will wonder - CALL and then you can tell them on the phone why your card was signed by you and difficult child with a new address.

    I had something a little lengthier and festive in mind:

    Dear Family,

    Why do I even call you family? If you were really MY family you would know what was going on in my life. Since you don't let me take this opportunity to bend your ear - You weren't doing anything anyway right? Certainly haven't called to see how me or the kids were doing. Even the dog draws a blank when I mention YOUR name.

    If you were at my Mother's life celebration that I put together you may have noticed Dave was absent more than he was there. He said he didn't feel his needs were being met while I was trying to get my moms funeral together. He had needs of his own during that difficult time for me and met a woman who despite knowing he was married obliged him in the Biblical sense. Well one thing led to another after my poor dad went back to FL, and I decided to strike out on my own. I have a lovely little apartment - even my crazy friends love my spendy trash can.

    I still have the same job and after the first of the year I won't be helping Dave with his business - he's on his own, or maybe his newest flavor of the month knows how to do books and send me an alimony check. Her daughter wasn't very comfortable with an invite to my old home where Calin was invited to dinner - but rest assured Thanksgiving will never be the same under that roof.

    The dog is the only thing we can agree to split amicably at this point. Currently she lives with him, but longs to be with me. I'm looking into buying my own home and she will come live with me - then YOU could come visit. That's what family is for. I'd love to see you! Not really but I'm supposed to end this letter on a positive open ended invitation so you'll send me a card back or call to get the dirt, so you can call someone, and they can call someone - and eventually it will sound like Dave left me for a funeral directors, 18 year old daughter who can't cook, and doesn't like the dog. Stories - they really get messed up huh?

    Happy New Year -
    Much Love
    Karen

    ps - we can amend it to really FIT your life - but honestly kid - if your 'family' was 'family' wouldn't they know what was going on in your life? I just don't want you to get hurt further because you KNOW people will take your sweet letter (not my very very nice one) and make out of it what THEY will. Interpretation is 9/10ths of the family law.

    Hugs
    Star
     
  9. KFld

    KFld New Member

    You are too funny :rofl:

    I do believe at this time all family members are aware. This is mostly geared toward like friends of my parents who I have known since I was born and we still exchange christmas cards with every year and I know they will be more concerned for me after just losing my mom, when they see a new address and a card signed by just my daughter and I. There are a few people that I feel deserve an explanation and the way I wrote it will put their mind at ease that I am o.k. with the changes I have made in my life so soon after my loss. It will be a very limited amount of people I will need to send this too, but they are people that I am extremely uncomfortable making them wonder or worry. There are a few that I will even provide my new phone number to because I know they will want to contact me. I know already who I will send this little note to and those that I won't.

    There are a few people though that I would love to send your letter to :smile:
     
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I AM available for parties.
     
  11. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I agree with the others. If you put your new address on the envelope, those who notice and care will ask you. Others ... well it doesn't really matter, does it?

    by the way, I edited the street name out of your post.
     
  12. saving grace

    saving grace New Member

    Ditto all of the above. The select few that you speak of, maybe you can give them a call, wish them Happy Holiday's and fill them in that way. OR when they wonder they can call you and inquire. I also believe it is way too much info for a Holiday Update. If they are your parents friends they may have heard from your Dad already about what has been going on since they have probably been keeping up with him since you Mom passed.

    Grace
     
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