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How has parenting a difficult child changed you?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 562448" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Good question. Well, I came to this 'party' very late, my difficult child was 'relatively' "normal" until 12 years ago, so she and I are older.............but lots of sleepless nights, heaps of worry, mega fears, so much uncertainty..........I've had to work very hard not to be an anxious, angry, resentful, judgmental person. So I guess I would say that I've had to put in a lot of time into learning about myself and ways to be healthier and happier and ways to respond differently.............I have more compassion for others, especially those afflicted with mental illness. I am very good at boundary setting these days which I never would have learned if it weren't for parenting a difficult child...... and in many ways that's changed my life in very positive ways. I have more clarity about what I want because I had to identify those things to be able to set those boundaries...........I'm more determined to protect a little corner of the world, just for me..............I've learned to redefine what love means and let go of parental controls I assumed were OK and healthy.........I learned that my judgments about my difficult child's life are just that, mine, they aren't necessarily true or even right.............they're based on my perceptions and my life and letting go of those was very, very freeing (I'm still doing that too)............I'm less judgmental and more accepting..........to some degree I understand how living in the present and not the future or the past is liberating.........</p><p></p><p>My difficult child has put me through the ringer in lots of ways, however, it was not without some very positive changes for me. Not to say it didn't suck in lots of ways too, but I have changed and much for the better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 562448, member: 13542"] Good question. Well, I came to this 'party' very late, my difficult child was 'relatively' "normal" until 12 years ago, so she and I are older.............but lots of sleepless nights, heaps of worry, mega fears, so much uncertainty..........I've had to work very hard not to be an anxious, angry, resentful, judgmental person. So I guess I would say that I've had to put in a lot of time into learning about myself and ways to be healthier and happier and ways to respond differently.............I have more compassion for others, especially those afflicted with mental illness. I am very good at boundary setting these days which I never would have learned if it weren't for parenting a difficult child...... and in many ways that's changed my life in very positive ways. I have more clarity about what I want because I had to identify those things to be able to set those boundaries...........I'm more determined to protect a little corner of the world, just for me..............I've learned to redefine what love means and let go of parental controls I assumed were OK and healthy.........I learned that my judgments about my difficult child's life are just that, mine, they aren't necessarily true or even right.............they're based on my perceptions and my life and letting go of those was very, very freeing (I'm still doing that too)............I'm less judgmental and more accepting..........to some degree I understand how living in the present and not the future or the past is liberating......... My difficult child has put me through the ringer in lots of ways, however, it was not without some very positive changes for me. Not to say it didn't suck in lots of ways too, but I have changed and much for the better. [/QUOTE]
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