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How has parenting a difficult child changed you?
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<blockquote data-quote="Bunny" data-source="post: 562580"><p>How has being the mother of a difficult child changed me? I learned that people who you think are your friends really aren't when the difficult child poop hits the fan. Then they drop you like a hot potato and talk about what a "psycho" your kid is and what crappy mother you are. It's hurtful and it's something that I think I will carry with me for a very, very long time.</p><p></p><p>I have very little trust for my difficult child. He lies over anything, even the smallest thing that would cause anyone any trouble. I have to watch and listen whenever difficult child and easy child are together because difficult child will turn on easy child at the drop of a hat and I have to make sure that easy child does not wind up hurt (or that easy child does not hurt difficult child, which would happen is easy child gets angry enough). My anxiety levels are at places I never even knew existed.</p><p></p><p>I think what I feel the most is resentment and when you have your first child you never, ever expect to feel such an emotion toward your child. But I do. difficult child limits what we can do. difficult child clouds every decision that we make. I resent the fact that I can't do things that other families with perfect kids can do. Family vacations are a nightmare and husband insists that we still have to go. Every. Single. Year. I resent the toll difficult child has taken on my marriage. When we fight, it's almost always about difficult child. Always. Yes, we may be fighting about vacation, but the reason that we're fighting about vacation is because of difficult child. I resent the fact that we've done everything that every professional we've consulted has asked us to do and I am still dealing with all of his crap and nonsense. </p><p></p><p>I also feel cheated. There are SO many things that I would love to do with difficult child, but because he is a difficult child we can't. So many people that I know brag about how wonderful and loving their kids are, and I look around and I think to myself, "Why did I get stuck with this lot?" I know that I should not feel that way, but I do.</p><p></p><p>The funny thing is that I have alot of that with easy child, which actually makes things harder with difficult child, so I have to hide alot of things from him in order to keep some amount of peace in the valley.</p><p></p><p>Being difficult child's mother has changed everything that I thought being a mother and a family would be. I have many days where I think that if I could go back and change my decision to have kids I would do it in a heartbeat.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bunny, post: 562580"] How has being the mother of a difficult child changed me? I learned that people who you think are your friends really aren't when the difficult child poop hits the fan. Then they drop you like a hot potato and talk about what a "psycho" your kid is and what crappy mother you are. It's hurtful and it's something that I think I will carry with me for a very, very long time. I have very little trust for my difficult child. He lies over anything, even the smallest thing that would cause anyone any trouble. I have to watch and listen whenever difficult child and easy child are together because difficult child will turn on easy child at the drop of a hat and I have to make sure that easy child does not wind up hurt (or that easy child does not hurt difficult child, which would happen is easy child gets angry enough). My anxiety levels are at places I never even knew existed. I think what I feel the most is resentment and when you have your first child you never, ever expect to feel such an emotion toward your child. But I do. difficult child limits what we can do. difficult child clouds every decision that we make. I resent the fact that I can't do things that other families with perfect kids can do. Family vacations are a nightmare and husband insists that we still have to go. Every. Single. Year. I resent the toll difficult child has taken on my marriage. When we fight, it's almost always about difficult child. Always. Yes, we may be fighting about vacation, but the reason that we're fighting about vacation is because of difficult child. I resent the fact that we've done everything that every professional we've consulted has asked us to do and I am still dealing with all of his crap and nonsense. I also feel cheated. There are SO many things that I would love to do with difficult child, but because he is a difficult child we can't. So many people that I know brag about how wonderful and loving their kids are, and I look around and I think to myself, "Why did I get stuck with this lot?" I know that I should not feel that way, but I do. The funny thing is that I have alot of that with easy child, which actually makes things harder with difficult child, so I have to hide alot of things from him in order to keep some amount of peace in the valley. Being difficult child's mother has changed everything that I thought being a mother and a family would be. I have many days where I think that if I could go back and change my decision to have kids I would do it in a heartbeat. [/QUOTE]
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