Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
How has parenting a difficult child changed you?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="tiredmommy" data-source="post: 562853" data-attributes="member: 1722"><p>I come from a long line of difficult children. My husband refers to me as Marilyn from the Addams family because I got enough typical to be a easy child. I was about Duckie's age now when I decided that the crazy train was going to stop with me; that "my family" when I grew up would be able to do better because I would create a much more stable environment for us. No more mood swings, hoarding, drug use or alcoholism. Little things like bedtimes, stories together, chores and dinners together. Set high standards and make sure any kiddos I had knew I felt they could achieve them.</p><p></p><p>I was eleven, what did I know about genetics? You can imagine my horror at discovering my beloved little Duckie was, in fact, a difficult child. It didn't matter what I did or what I tried. She was a difficult child. And I once again had a difficult child family. It was devastating and demoralizing all at once. I nearly cracked the night I realized that I could not fundamentally change my daughter to be who I needed her to be. But you know what? The sun came up the next morning. And the day after that. And again. And so on. Eentually I got over myself and got down to the business of being the parent of a different type of kid.</p><p></p><p>Instead of trying to change her, per se, I started to try to get to know her. Figure out how she thinks, what gives her joy, how to inspire her to be her best. But to be her best we had to explore the world around her and her interests. Find talents and strengths. Work on her weaknesses in the process to help her function better. Be less of traditional parent and more of a caretaker to this brilliant soul that God gifted to me on a very cold January night in 2001. In learning to respect her, she's slowly learning to respect me. Is she a easy child? No... she's still sensory defensive, can be excessively rigid, very disorganized and gets pretty anxious. But... I have learned to not let the problems, weak spots and blemishes be all I see. I see the innate beauty, the strong and courageous soul, the loyal friend and kind heart. I see the intelligence, critical thinking and sense of humor that will serve her well long after I'm gone from this world. I see talents that I never would have imagined or would have been realized had we followed my plan. Following her plan, all in all, has been much better in the long run.</p><p></p><p>So all this has changed me. I'm more willing to meet people where they're at, I don't suffers foolishness lightly and I'm much slower to negatively judge others. So far she's managed to make me a better person.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tiredmommy, post: 562853, member: 1722"] I come from a long line of difficult children. My husband refers to me as Marilyn from the Addams family because I got enough typical to be a easy child. I was about Duckie's age now when I decided that the crazy train was going to stop with me; that "my family" when I grew up would be able to do better because I would create a much more stable environment for us. No more mood swings, hoarding, drug use or alcoholism. Little things like bedtimes, stories together, chores and dinners together. Set high standards and make sure any kiddos I had knew I felt they could achieve them. I was eleven, what did I know about genetics? You can imagine my horror at discovering my beloved little Duckie was, in fact, a difficult child. It didn't matter what I did or what I tried. She was a difficult child. And I once again had a difficult child family. It was devastating and demoralizing all at once. I nearly cracked the night I realized that I could not fundamentally change my daughter to be who I needed her to be. But you know what? The sun came up the next morning. And the day after that. And again. And so on. Eentually I got over myself and got down to the business of being the parent of a different type of kid. Instead of trying to change her, per se, I started to try to get to know her. Figure out how she thinks, what gives her joy, how to inspire her to be her best. But to be her best we had to explore the world around her and her interests. Find talents and strengths. Work on her weaknesses in the process to help her function better. Be less of traditional parent and more of a caretaker to this brilliant soul that God gifted to me on a very cold January night in 2001. In learning to respect her, she's slowly learning to respect me. Is she a easy child? No... she's still sensory defensive, can be excessively rigid, very disorganized and gets pretty anxious. But... I have learned to not let the problems, weak spots and blemishes be all I see. I see the innate beauty, the strong and courageous soul, the loyal friend and kind heart. I see the intelligence, critical thinking and sense of humor that will serve her well long after I'm gone from this world. I see talents that I never would have imagined or would have been realized had we followed my plan. Following her plan, all in all, has been much better in the long run. So all this has changed me. I'm more willing to meet people where they're at, I don't suffers foolishness lightly and I'm much slower to negatively judge others. So far she's managed to make me a better person. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
How has parenting a difficult child changed you?
Top