How has your difficult child made you stronger?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Jena, Nov 10, 2008.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    good morning!!!!!!!

    Me again lol.

    So, I wanted to throw this one out there......

    How has your difficult child made you a stronger person??

    My difficult child has taught me; patience, more empathy than i've ever had before, unconditional love to it's highest measure, hope. She has made me a stronger person just for knowing her and being lucky enough to have her.

    Whose next????
  2. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I went from okay that sounds good Mom to Warrior Mom because NO ONE will advocate for your kid and squeek the wheel like you will.

    I AM MOTHER HEAR ME ROAR!!!!! no longer say meow.
  3. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Initially, having a difficult child helped me to be more empathetic towards other difficult children and their parents. It also helped me do better research, brush on my vocabulary and stand up against the most intimidating presence in my child's life - the public school district. Having a difficult child helped me strengthen myself against those who criticized me for parenting her 'differently' and doing what I believed was right even if it went against others' well intentioned advice.

    Throughout the years of advocating both for difficult child and then with difficult child in regards to school and her social skills, it's been enlightening in many ways, most of which was in regards to the difficulty she had believing in herself and making healthy choices...always the battle.

    I realized that as a parent you cannot just say, "Do it like this" and expect them to follow suit. Even when you point out the consequences of their poor actions, they still may not follow suit.

    So, I guess, the best things I learned from having a difficult child has been

    a) empathy and

    b) let go a alittle - hold on loosely except when it's a matter of life/death.

    Today, I believe what I've learned most is that once a savvy teenager realizes that you believe she has a disability or disadvantage over her peers, she will use it to get her way, manipulate and control you and the family as a which case, as a parent you develop certain survival skills that some other parents never have to contend with and the first is detachment.

    Out of love, you learn to let them go and fall flat on their little chubby difficult child faces. That takes massive amounts of strength and I'm not completely there yet, though I am a work in progress. I marvel at the parents here who have mastered detachment.
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I have always been a determined, kick tail and take names, Type A personality, and I have learned to improve my focus regarding who and where to kick.

    I have learned that Miss KT needs to crash in order to figure out what doesn't work, and that teaching survival skills to a difficult child is a full time job that requires more patience than I ever thought I would have.
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911


  6. Jena

    Jena New Member

    It's amazing all the things we have learned, isn't it??
  7. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    when someone calls me a %^$^&*(%^%^*&()^&%$#% I do not even flinch
  8. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Amaze...LOL. That was what I was thinking. I don't know if this is in the positive column, but it's made me hardened. I can take a lot now. Maybe too much.

  9. Mayapple5

    Mayapple5 New Member

    I have learned to advocate for my difficult child. I've learned a whole new language and, OMG, acronyms! No one knows what I'm talking about anymore! I've learned to take stares in the store and walk right by them while my child is screaming up a storm and smile politely (or not!)

    I'm a much stronger person. I know a whole lot more about IEP's than I actually wanted to know and I know there is a huge difference between male principals and female principals! Men don't have as long a fangs and the females! And that goes for the teachers, too. But I can get what my child needs for a good education and she's going to get it!

    My faith is stronger because of her and what she has brought into my life. more joy and laughter. so much sunshine :angel: