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Parent Emeritus
How have your experiences with difficult child kids changed you?
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 630600" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Yes. I am there as well, often.</p><p> </p><p>I would have to say that that depends upon the day!</p><p> </p><p>First off, it has been humbling, and made me much less likely to judge other parents or other families. That is number one, and that is big, and I think a general good in the world.</p><p> </p><p>It has made me a resource for the parents of really problem kids, who are shamed and feel comforted that they can talk to some one as normal as I am with problem kids (I say kids because easy child daughter, difficult child twin, was a difficult child for a good 5 years, including getting expelled from middle school, being accused of inappropirate sexual aggression with another middle schooler, lots of drugs and drinking, hanging out with 20 plus year olds, all the usual, exacerbated by opportunity since we live in a city)</p><p>This is a good thing, since as we know it is not hard to offer solace or even actual help to a parent at the very very beginning of this journey.</p><p> </p><p>It has made me agonizingly miserable in ways I would never have imagined possible.</p><p> </p><p>It has made me contemplate suicide as an escape.</p><p> </p><p>It has made me feel like a total, awful, creepy, criminally bad parent and person.</p><p> </p><p>It has made me actually pull my kids' hair and scream at them, behaviors I would not have imagined to be possible.</p><p> </p><p>Detaching, meditating, centering have all arisen at least in part from having a difficult child, and those have made me better and healthier in all my relationships, including with ex difficult child SO, and ex husband. It has helped me allow my easy child kids to be who they are, which has been so good for our relationship...same with the two difficult children, actually...our relationships are better, fragile as they are. I think I am even saner in my work relationships.</p><p> </p><p>That is for starters</p><p> </p><p>Probably more to follow.</p><p> </p><p>This is an interesting thread, Cedar. I'll look forward to what others have to say.</p><p> </p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 630600, member: 17269"] Yes. I am there as well, often. I would have to say that that depends upon the day! First off, it has been humbling, and made me much less likely to judge other parents or other families. That is number one, and that is big, and I think a general good in the world. It has made me a resource for the parents of really problem kids, who are shamed and feel comforted that they can talk to some one as normal as I am with problem kids (I say kids because easy child daughter, difficult child twin, was a difficult child for a good 5 years, including getting expelled from middle school, being accused of inappropirate sexual aggression with another middle schooler, lots of drugs and drinking, hanging out with 20 plus year olds, all the usual, exacerbated by opportunity since we live in a city) This is a good thing, since as we know it is not hard to offer solace or even actual help to a parent at the very very beginning of this journey. It has made me agonizingly miserable in ways I would never have imagined possible. It has made me contemplate suicide as an escape. It has made me feel like a total, awful, creepy, criminally bad parent and person. It has made me actually pull my kids' hair and scream at them, behaviors I would not have imagined to be possible. Detaching, meditating, centering have all arisen at least in part from having a difficult child, and those have made me better and healthier in all my relationships, including with ex difficult child SO, and ex husband. It has helped me allow my easy child kids to be who they are, which has been so good for our relationship...same with the two difficult children, actually...our relationships are better, fragile as they are. I think I am even saner in my work relationships. That is for starters Probably more to follow. This is an interesting thread, Cedar. I'll look forward to what others have to say. Echo [/QUOTE]
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How have your experiences with difficult child kids changed you?
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