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How have your experiences with difficult child kids changed you?
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 630609" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>Oh Cedar and Echo (((hugs))) Having a difficult child changed me and the trajectory of my life.</p><p></p><p>I know for me personally, I was already having some difficulties due to having health problems. But, I believe I would have been able to rally and go forward, but having the stress of a difficult child, put me in a horrible place. I think autoimmune problems and great stress do not mix. Therefore, I ended up with worsening health problems and insurmountable problems career wise. All my plans went up in smoke. We had no help from family...so of course, that wasn't good. I was always an ultra conscientious student and employee with many goals and great hopes. It just wasn't meant to be. And these days, I am concerned for my later years. This is partially why I have chosen to detach and set boundaries, big time and to the extreme with difficult child. I limit the amount of time I think about the past and also greatly limit the amount of time I will entertain difficult child drama/trauma today.</p><p></p><p>Fortunately, other than health problems and difficult child issues with our daughter, and one difficult child year with our son and a few other family related things (these things alone are plenty) we haven't had too many other very difficult things going on. But, right now we are hurting in other areas too and I might post on WC about it. My husband was in a car accident about 4 weeks ago (he's ok, but it was traumatic...a texting teen rammed into him), our house was badly burglarized the following week, my health has been hideous and we sort of got a slap in the face from our best friends of nearly 30 years.</p><p></p><p>I felt drained and went to see my previous therapist and she said, among other things, to let this very difficult time serve as a learning and growth experience.</p><p></p><p>The more I think about this, I think it is an accurate statement/possibility.</p><p></p><p>And back to having a difficult child...I suppose it is/was a growing experience. It is hard to say. It certainly opened my eyes, in a way. It is NOT an experience I would chose, no matter how much growth I got or get out of it. Like Echo, the difficulties have made me closer to my husband. It made me grow up in certain ways very very quickly.</p><p></p><p>by the way, maybe part of that growth for you is still in progress, Cedar....yes, I do think many people take advantage of those who are very kind!!!! I think about that when I recall my mother and father. Good that you realize this. I think my mom finally did on her death bed. Do I have to tell you to NOT wait until then????? ((((hugs)))) Oh my...just got choked up.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 630609, member: 4152"] Oh Cedar and Echo (((hugs))) Having a difficult child changed me and the trajectory of my life. I know for me personally, I was already having some difficulties due to having health problems. But, I believe I would have been able to rally and go forward, but having the stress of a difficult child, put me in a horrible place. I think autoimmune problems and great stress do not mix. Therefore, I ended up with worsening health problems and insurmountable problems career wise. All my plans went up in smoke. We had no help from family...so of course, that wasn't good. I was always an ultra conscientious student and employee with many goals and great hopes. It just wasn't meant to be. And these days, I am concerned for my later years. This is partially why I have chosen to detach and set boundaries, big time and to the extreme with difficult child. I limit the amount of time I think about the past and also greatly limit the amount of time I will entertain difficult child drama/trauma today. Fortunately, other than health problems and difficult child issues with our daughter, and one difficult child year with our son and a few other family related things (these things alone are plenty) we haven't had too many other very difficult things going on. But, right now we are hurting in other areas too and I might post on WC about it. My husband was in a car accident about 4 weeks ago (he's ok, but it was traumatic...a texting teen rammed into him), our house was badly burglarized the following week, my health has been hideous and we sort of got a slap in the face from our best friends of nearly 30 years. I felt drained and went to see my previous therapist and she said, among other things, to let this very difficult time serve as a learning and growth experience. The more I think about this, I think it is an accurate statement/possibility. And back to having a difficult child...I suppose it is/was a growing experience. It is hard to say. It certainly opened my eyes, in a way. It is NOT an experience I would chose, no matter how much growth I got or get out of it. Like Echo, the difficulties have made me closer to my husband. It made me grow up in certain ways very very quickly. by the way, maybe part of that growth for you is still in progress, Cedar....yes, I do think many people take advantage of those who are very kind!!!! I think about that when I recall my mother and father. Good that you realize this. I think my mom finally did on her death bed. Do I have to tell you to NOT wait until then????? ((((hugs)))) Oh my...just got choked up. [/QUOTE]
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