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how husband went insane
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 535196" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Pigless - </p><p></p><p>I'm glad you shared what you did. I lived through twenty two suicide attempts with my ex. I was twenty three year old the first time he tried to kill himself, and alone. His family was very hateful towards me. The first time in the emergency room? They all sat on one side of the ER and literally left me sit on the opposite side completely, and utterly alone as if it were my fault. When they called for "Mrs. X" my mother in law got up and literally challenged the doctor for my right to be with him. The doctor took my side, and I got to go see him. It was the first in a long, long series of brushes with death I'll never forget, and an even longer history with a man that is indescribably ill. Later it would be his uncle who lived with us, never quite came back from Viet Nam, and would have PTSD episodes so bizzare in our house it just didn't seem real, but when you describe dancing and disguises? It actually was like an OMG moment. Unfortunately he also took his life by shooting. The note I came home to said "I'm sorry - don't come in - call 911." He eased his pain in the kitchen. We were to leave that afternoon for a trip to see his daughter in FL. And then my own son has tried three times now to take his own life. Dealing with those things, over the years never makes you numb, doesn't make you an expert - but it just makes you wonder - LORD - why me? And some questions you want answered just kind of hang out there not really nagging you - but forgotten - until you hear someone else talk about them. </p><p></p><p>The hardest question I think I faced in all of it and the biggest TABU for everyone I knew was the one his daughter was most distraught over. She said since her dad took his own life he would go right to Hell. As a person of Faith this was how I was raised to believe also but when you're faced with a crying teenager, and lived with such a good man that was so very, very tortured and mentally ill? How do you answer that? My thought was this - and I'll share it - because someone said later it was a good answer. I didn't care if it was good - it was just what I felt. I told her - I think everything we do in life is judged in the end. How we handle every burden placed upon us is weighed and looked at. Some of us are given these great lives with riches and wealth and hardly ever a problem - and yet we never help the next person. Ever. Are those people any less guilty of wrong doing? Then there are people like your Dad who had it poor, and rough, went to Nam, and saw things, and were forced to do things that were so horrible he was never able to get over them. Thirty years later? Still in his mind, ruined his psyche. Rendered him nearly non-functional. But in his heart? A good man. Poor in pocket - rich in spirit - and while he had very little? He gave people so much of himself. The shirt off his back kind of man. I think in the end - when you have to stand before your maker and you're weighed and measured? Perhaps I'm wrong but I could see where mental illness would be taken into consideration in taking your own life and not truly knowing what you did was wrong - that the pain was so great - or that you knew if you didn't do this - worse things would happen. So maybe there is a pass on things like this and he's not going to Hell after all. It's not up to us to decide that. We don't get to judge.....</p><p></p><p>With that? She knew that her Dad was a good hearted person - and the kind of person I described. He really was. Instead of having a private ceremony she changed it to a regular funeral and memorial. No one mentioned about him going to hell and well - I think that's between him and God when he gets there. It doesn't say that there is a tortured soul mentally ill clause - but I'd like to think in all the infinite wisdom of our creator he knew - what they felt. And allowed for imperfections even in the most imperfect situations.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 535196, member: 4964"] Pigless - I'm glad you shared what you did. I lived through twenty two suicide attempts with my ex. I was twenty three year old the first time he tried to kill himself, and alone. His family was very hateful towards me. The first time in the emergency room? They all sat on one side of the ER and literally left me sit on the opposite side completely, and utterly alone as if it were my fault. When they called for "Mrs. X" my mother in law got up and literally challenged the doctor for my right to be with him. The doctor took my side, and I got to go see him. It was the first in a long, long series of brushes with death I'll never forget, and an even longer history with a man that is indescribably ill. Later it would be his uncle who lived with us, never quite came back from Viet Nam, and would have PTSD episodes so bizzare in our house it just didn't seem real, but when you describe dancing and disguises? It actually was like an OMG moment. Unfortunately he also took his life by shooting. The note I came home to said "I'm sorry - don't come in - call 911." He eased his pain in the kitchen. We were to leave that afternoon for a trip to see his daughter in FL. And then my own son has tried three times now to take his own life. Dealing with those things, over the years never makes you numb, doesn't make you an expert - but it just makes you wonder - LORD - why me? And some questions you want answered just kind of hang out there not really nagging you - but forgotten - until you hear someone else talk about them. The hardest question I think I faced in all of it and the biggest TABU for everyone I knew was the one his daughter was most distraught over. She said since her dad took his own life he would go right to Hell. As a person of Faith this was how I was raised to believe also but when you're faced with a crying teenager, and lived with such a good man that was so very, very tortured and mentally ill? How do you answer that? My thought was this - and I'll share it - because someone said later it was a good answer. I didn't care if it was good - it was just what I felt. I told her - I think everything we do in life is judged in the end. How we handle every burden placed upon us is weighed and looked at. Some of us are given these great lives with riches and wealth and hardly ever a problem - and yet we never help the next person. Ever. Are those people any less guilty of wrong doing? Then there are people like your Dad who had it poor, and rough, went to Nam, and saw things, and were forced to do things that were so horrible he was never able to get over them. Thirty years later? Still in his mind, ruined his psyche. Rendered him nearly non-functional. But in his heart? A good man. Poor in pocket - rich in spirit - and while he had very little? He gave people so much of himself. The shirt off his back kind of man. I think in the end - when you have to stand before your maker and you're weighed and measured? Perhaps I'm wrong but I could see where mental illness would be taken into consideration in taking your own life and not truly knowing what you did was wrong - that the pain was so great - or that you knew if you didn't do this - worse things would happen. So maybe there is a pass on things like this and he's not going to Hell after all. It's not up to us to decide that. We don't get to judge..... With that? She knew that her Dad was a good hearted person - and the kind of person I described. He really was. Instead of having a private ceremony she changed it to a regular funeral and memorial. No one mentioned about him going to hell and well - I think that's between him and God when he gets there. It doesn't say that there is a tortured soul mentally ill clause - but I'd like to think in all the infinite wisdom of our creator he knew - what they felt. And allowed for imperfections even in the most imperfect situations. [/QUOTE]
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