How is your daugther Caroleann?

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Steely, Apr 13, 2008.

  1. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Just thinking of you and your daughter. Let us know how things are. Many, many hugs and prayers being sent your way.:kisses:
  2. carolanne

    carolanne Member

    Jessica was moved to the psychiatric ward yesterday. And there are full restrictions on boyfriend. Seems he completely un-nerved the nurses from the ward. Jess was awake most of yesterday which was great...I got to see her four times. She didn't really say too much of course, But the last one she threw me for a loop even though I was expecting it. She doesn't want me to visit more than once a day....says it's too hard on Awww the poor dear...snicker. He apparently was having difficulty knowing that I would be there every four hours. The duty nurse said he would constantly look out the door and down the hall...jumped at every sound. They said his constant whispering to difficult child was driving them up the wall and these are some of the nicest ladies I have ever met.

    The ER doctor has her on a two week psychiatric evaluation which is great. And with boyfriend only getting to see her half an hour a day and that's in the presence of the nurse....maybe his grip will be loosened somewhat.

    She did tell me she'd dropped out of school. I only said I hoped she was doing the right thing for her and left it at that.I can get daily updates from the ward now as my parental rights trump his commonlaw ones...for now anyway. Not exactly sure how that is working but it is and I won't say a word to make it different.

    I think the bright part in this was being able to look right at boyfriend last night in the hall and smile...than I winked....and he went so pale....ho hum...never threatened him and don't intend to but I am sure he understood;)


  3. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Carolanne, this is all great news. Maybe this will be a catalyst for change.. as crises sometimes are. GOOD that the boyfriend is jumpy and nervous .. keep winking... hehehe
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    That smile and wink probably did more to unnerve boyfriend than any threat would have. I like your style.

    I'm so glad Jess is doing well. I've been watching for an update.

    I'm praying this crisis sets in motion a change for the better for Jess. Hopefully with the staff forcing him to remain at a distance she will be able to think for herself and come to realize some things. One can hope.

    Sending warm (((hugs)))
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Glad to hear there is forward motion....

    I personally would like to see this young man in her life disappear. He sounds paranoid and not good for her at all. Maybe it is good that the nurses are observing all this - maybe HE won't be allowed near her so she can concentrate on HER head for a change.

  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Carolanne, you have style and class. That wink was truly inspired. He will wonder what you are doing and probably be terrified - cause he knows he is a skank.

    I am glad she is in on a psychiatric hold. I hope that she gets better soon. It is reassuring that your parental rights can trump his commonlaw rights.


  7. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: SNORTHACKCOUGHSNORT Ohhhhhhhhh.....*wipes tears from eyes* Priceless!!!

    Glad to hear she's doing better physically. Hopefully the psychiatric stay will get her back on track. I'm sure the nurses would also be willing to testify/give statements if anything were to pop up more concerning toadboy. Nurses rock!
  8. carolanne

    carolanne Member

    Toadboy....lmao....that made me laugh so hard I cried....hahahaha...toadboy...perfect...i'm still laughing...

  9. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    This is all good news. Sad to say that the two weeks will fly by. More than likely, your difficult child will go back to Toadboy. He has a pretty strong hold on her, and she seems pretty weak. I hope that you will be able to have the nurses discuss passive birth control with her.
  10. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Carolanne, I'm so glad she's doing better. I LOVE the wink! In fact, I think you should do it again, just for good measure!

    When he visits her, can the nurses hear what he's saying to her? There's something very creepy and sinister about his behavior towards her - more than just "controlling". I hate to even mention this, but could he have been giving her something, some kind of drug or something? It's like he's trying to monitor and control everything she says. Has she told anyone yet how she came to overdose in the first place? And is there a possibility that he could have had something to do with it and he's trying to keep her quiet?? Lots of questions ... probably the same ones you've been wanting answers to. I hope the doctors are able to get to the bottom of it all and that she finally figures it all out.
  11. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    ~~Passes the kleenex~~
  12. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Yikes, I kinda thought the same thing. You know controlling men are the worst kind of abusers. I am wondering if the staff at the psychiatric ward can possibly report any of this to a domestic abuse shelter?

    I am so glad she is going better though. SO glad!! And really glad she has 2 weeks with-out the toad to possibly realign her perspective on life.
  13. carolanne

    carolanne Member

    I had a call from the doctor who is in charge of difficult child's care right now. She is refusing to eat unless they lift the visit restrictions for toadboy....sigh....she hasn't eaten since yesterday at breakfast when they told her about him only getting half an hour a day. He said if she keeps refusing to eat, they will strap her down and put an iv and feeding tube in....guess when she heard that she threw the food tray at the wall.

    It's going to be a long long road with this girl. The doctor is concerned about the relationship, says it's extremely unhealthy and very dangerous mentally. He isn't sure what power this toad has over her but he says it's quite a grip right now.

    She will starts medications tomorrow for anxiety and is being put into anger management where she will learn that all her choices are just that...hers not mine or anyone else. I guess she spent an hour spewing filth about me....lots of stories that the doctor said he could pull records on and point out that they were false....

    I am to go see her tomorrow morning for a very brief visit. It was suggested that I bring a small bag with some socks and things....little treats and some quarters for the phone. The phone is monitored and the doctor said he is very curious to see and hear what kind of conversation there will be when she calls toadboy....kinda feels like setting up difficult child but they need to know how deep his hold on her is.

    The other thing they were able to tell me is that toadboy has been in and out of the ward himself over the last couple of years. Seems that when his parents got tired of taking care of him, they placed him there for 30 days at a time. He's been shunted between home, the hospital, a group home and the homeless shelter.....what a life....

    I am off to the fabric store....going to start working on a quilt....need to do for me today...

    thanks a million gazillion times over for the support'll never know how much it means to me or how it's helped me get through those quiet deadly hours in the middle of the night:):):)

  14. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    Sounds like docs and nurses are top notch. I'm glad they are familiar with boyfriend and already have his number to some degree. Maybe that will help some with trying to lessen his hold on Jess.

    Good for you for taking some time for you today.

  15. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member


    I'm glad to hear that the doctors are working so closely with Jess, and that they already have a history on toadboy. That might give them some additional insight on the type of hold he has on your daughter and how they might be able to help her break it.

    Hope you had a great time at the fabric store picking out the things for your quilt. You need to take care of you.

  16. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Wow, she really isn't using her head, is she? She really thinks she can stop eating and that's going to make them do what she wants? That's a good way to extend your stay...
  17. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    In a way, that could prove to be good in the long run that she had such an extreme reaction. Is there any way they might keep her longer than the two weeks and maybe put her somewhere that Toadboy can't get at her for a while?
  18. carolanne

    carolanne Member

    difficult child still refuses to eat....and was violent enough with a nurse last night that they strapped her down for the night. She's been moved to a sound proof room now because of the constant screaming and yelling. Today she will be started on shots to calm her down.

    The doctor said it's all an act on her part. That she is used to doing this to get what she wants but the hospital has nothing to lose by holding out. Toadboy is out visits allowed which is a great relief. She's testing...they know that but they are experts in this.

    I almost feel sorry for her...almost:) she won't win this round....has until sat to eat or it bad that I find some small joy in her misery??

  19. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    The joy comes from knowing that at this time boyfriend has no influence because he's not allowed to see her and that she is getting the treatment she so desperately needs.

    I'm praying so hard that this is the turn around point for her with the boyfriend as well as life in general.

  20. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    She's doing everything to get her stay there extended. in my opinion it would be a good thing as it keeps her apart from the boyfriend and the longer they're apart the more his influence would wane. I hope she gets the treatment and therapy she needs to realize the self-destructive path her life has been on.

    And enjoying her misery - well maybe just a little with the misery she's caused you and your family. But I think you're also more happy that finally she's in a place where she may get the help she so desperately needs, may actually have a chance for a life change, with people who are onto her game right from the start.

    {{{{HUGS}}}} Hope the quilt turns out well. I just love the craft store, hope you had a nice relaxing time there. I'm more into knitting/crochet and cross-stich/needlepoint, and just finishing a crochet baby blanket for niece.