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Parent Emeritus
How it went, and que sera, sera
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 216933" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Sigh. Sounds like the manipulations are already starting. Well, if her father doesn't want to come, that's on him, not you. Hope you can find a way to remind her of that.</p><p> </p><p>Okay, I understand her attitude on the gifts. If she's always gotten a bunch from you, she's going to expect that continue until grandkids come into the picture -- then they get the bunch. Doesn't mean you have to give her bunch, just means she's going to expect a bunch because, well, it's Christmas and you're the momma. I love how a friend of mine handled this. She gave her daughter a beautiful card and one nice gift. In the card was a note saying she usually spent $500 on her daughter. However, she had decided that her daughter had enough things and had used the $500 and adopted a family who had nothing. She then gave a specific list of what was purchased and for whom. It was hard for her daughter to be upset about not getting when she knew it was making another family so happy. This has now become an annual tradition with both mother and daughter adopting families. They now wrap boxes with notes inside saying "this is the sweater for Johnny, age 8," etc. Who knows, you might even start a great tradition.</p><p> </p><p>In the meantime, I agree. It is time to do for you. If you think L is going to be a manipulative brat, then don't go and enjoy a day doing exactly what YOU want. Christmas is a time of giving -- not just to others but also to yourself. Sometimes the best gift you can give anyone is giving yourself a day of R&R.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 216933, member: 3626"] Sigh. Sounds like the manipulations are already starting. Well, if her father doesn't want to come, that's on him, not you. Hope you can find a way to remind her of that. Okay, I understand her attitude on the gifts. If she's always gotten a bunch from you, she's going to expect that continue until grandkids come into the picture -- then they get the bunch. Doesn't mean you have to give her bunch, just means she's going to expect a bunch because, well, it's Christmas and you're the momma. I love how a friend of mine handled this. She gave her daughter a beautiful card and one nice gift. In the card was a note saying she usually spent $500 on her daughter. However, she had decided that her daughter had enough things and had used the $500 and adopted a family who had nothing. She then gave a specific list of what was purchased and for whom. It was hard for her daughter to be upset about not getting when she knew it was making another family so happy. This has now become an annual tradition with both mother and daughter adopting families. They now wrap boxes with notes inside saying "this is the sweater for Johnny, age 8," etc. Who knows, you might even start a great tradition. In the meantime, I agree. It is time to do for you. If you think L is going to be a manipulative brat, then don't go and enjoy a day doing exactly what YOU want. Christmas is a time of giving -- not just to others but also to yourself. Sometimes the best gift you can give anyone is giving yourself a day of R&R. [/QUOTE]
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