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How it went, and que sera, sera
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 217389" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Witz, </p><p> </p><p>i don't know that there really is a way you could rise above this OTHER than to know that her thinking is skewed to begin with....</p><p> </p><p>To me this is like the relative that asks everyone in advance "what are you doing for X holiday?" and when they have little to no plans she sees it as an opportunity to throw a party or be the hostess with the mostest. Then invites go out, peoples lives change and they call and decline her invitation - so she just methodically goes down the list until she has in her brain enough bodies to constitute throwing a party. Whatever her magic number is - is unimportant - WHO the people that represent the numbers are is unimportant - she's got party on the brain. So maybe it isn't you after all. </p><p> </p><p>Reminds me of a girl I know that sells literally EVERYTHING on the side. I haven't talked to her for almost 8 months (she got a steady Eddie) so I don't even get as much as a call - when she had NO ONE? She called my house at all hours....just going on and on about men - would I like to go out, would I like to have "dinner" (at a bar) - no thank you....don't drink, don't smoke, not trolling. If I want "smoked" food - I'll go to a steak house. </p><p> </p><p>And now all of a sudden? I'm getting invitations to jewelry parties, candle parties, come to my grandbabies birthday party -never met the kid. Can you come to a cookie party? How does she justify that? It USED to peeve me to no end. I mean - NO calls all year long, unless you want to talk trash (and I don't) about men - and then no contact for months and then "OH come to my party!!!" "Gosh I miss you" scrawled in the bottom corner of a preprinted company friendly postcard. </p><p> </p><p>So maybe it's like that - and she's not able to discern ???? Doesn't make you feel any better that you even GOT an invitation - because we all want to feel like we're special or that our invite was meaningful - BUT some people just can't bridge that gap - and so everyone gets an invite - they don't mean to hurt our feelings, BUT - they do. So we decline - </p><p> </p><p>And I've been there plenty - I'm past it all now - I just get the invite and toss it in the trash or now DF will - he knows I'm not going to any party - and the odd thing is? NO ONE EVER calls and says "WE missed you at the party." so that tells me a bunch about where the invitation came from to begin with. </p><p> </p><p>Sorta like - Well I'd like to get Grandmas crystal punch bowl out of the attic and make a fruit punch - but not if 3 people are showing up - I just don't give them any reason to complain about having to go up the stairs to get it. lol </p><p> </p><p>Maybe?? I dunno. Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 217389, member: 4964"] Witz, i don't know that there really is a way you could rise above this OTHER than to know that her thinking is skewed to begin with.... To me this is like the relative that asks everyone in advance "what are you doing for X holiday?" and when they have little to no plans she sees it as an opportunity to throw a party or be the hostess with the mostest. Then invites go out, peoples lives change and they call and decline her invitation - so she just methodically goes down the list until she has in her brain enough bodies to constitute throwing a party. Whatever her magic number is - is unimportant - WHO the people that represent the numbers are is unimportant - she's got party on the brain. So maybe it isn't you after all. Reminds me of a girl I know that sells literally EVERYTHING on the side. I haven't talked to her for almost 8 months (she got a steady Eddie) so I don't even get as much as a call - when she had NO ONE? She called my house at all hours....just going on and on about men - would I like to go out, would I like to have "dinner" (at a bar) - no thank you....don't drink, don't smoke, not trolling. If I want "smoked" food - I'll go to a steak house. And now all of a sudden? I'm getting invitations to jewelry parties, candle parties, come to my grandbabies birthday party -never met the kid. Can you come to a cookie party? How does she justify that? It USED to peeve me to no end. I mean - NO calls all year long, unless you want to talk trash (and I don't) about men - and then no contact for months and then "OH come to my party!!!" "Gosh I miss you" scrawled in the bottom corner of a preprinted company friendly postcard. So maybe it's like that - and she's not able to discern ???? Doesn't make you feel any better that you even GOT an invitation - because we all want to feel like we're special or that our invite was meaningful - BUT some people just can't bridge that gap - and so everyone gets an invite - they don't mean to hurt our feelings, BUT - they do. So we decline - And I've been there plenty - I'm past it all now - I just get the invite and toss it in the trash or now DF will - he knows I'm not going to any party - and the odd thing is? NO ONE EVER calls and says "WE missed you at the party." so that tells me a bunch about where the invitation came from to begin with. Sorta like - Well I'd like to get Grandmas crystal punch bowl out of the attic and make a fruit punch - but not if 3 people are showing up - I just don't give them any reason to complain about having to go up the stairs to get it. lol Maybe?? I dunno. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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