Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by whatamess, Jan 14, 2010.
Do you feel there should be a time limit? Or until crisis is is past, even if that means 1+ hours?
In what situation? I disapprove of seclusion in schools. I think it terrifies children and if they are out of control should be sent to the office to quiet down.
More details are needed. A traditional timeout should be no longer then the child's age time 1 min.
If a child has a mental illness they should be allowed the time needed to calm down. Some kids have the accommodation that there be a safe place they can go to calm down and get through their issues. But the length of time spent there is up to the child, not a forced seclusion. When my son was in "in school suspension". He spent most of the day doing his class work alone in a conference room (with frequent checks from the staff). I found that frustrating, but he really had been a complete monster and they tried a variety of other strategies first. The day a lone did calm him down some.
What behaviors do you feel require seclusion?
I think staff should always be with a child unless the child requests a few minutes alone in a safe room.
Is this seclusion at home, in a school or in a hospital? What did the child do? Is this your 12-year-old difficult child with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)? You need to provide more specifics before we answer. There is no one-size-fits-all.
I have many of the same questions. At school, the kids go to a "quiet room" - the door remains open with a staff at the door.
As I recall Residential Treatment Center (RTC) & the phospital are the same way. Generally, kt or wm were in those settings until they proved themselves safe & were calm enough to enter back into the common settings. There was no set time & it was never used as a consequence for a behavior; it was a safety issue.
If a child is separated because he is a danger to himself or others...then a time limit would not seem appropriate. The child may need to be separated until the crisis is past.
My daughter was nearly placed in seclusion while at psychiatric hospital because she was throwing herself against the walls in her room. If we had not arrived we we did--staff would have moved her to a padded room for her own safety and she would have stayed there until she was calm.
At school. For things like throwing paper.
Oh good grief. In a seclusion room for that long for throwing paper? Was he completely out of control while throwing the paper? Or when told to stop throwing the paper? There are still a few details left out but if the situation is just that a difficult child was throwing paper and was told to stop and they continued throwing normal paper and the kid was removed to a seclusion room...I dont even think that was warranted...but if they were, then I think they should only stay for a short time with an aide present until they calmed down enough to come out and resume class.
Personally I think throwing paper could be dealt with in another way.
Does your child have an IEP? (Individualized Education Plan) or a BIP (Behavior Intervention Plan)?
THAT should be your first question BECAUSE if your son HAS that in place there should NOT BE any seclusion. There should be things like -
1.) Removal from classroom with a shadow (one can be provided at no cost to you by the School District so that if your child is behaving in a disruptive manner this person will see the signs ahead of time and suggest with a secret tap or word that the shadow and child leave the classroom for a short break, or that the shadow distracts the child and/or redirects the child back to task.
2.) If Removal IS necessary there is a predetermined place set up with the school principal and BIP team where the child is monitored and NEVER alone.
Seclusion helps no one. It just says - Hey let me put you here so that you can continue to try to get our attention only louder and more obnoxious levels. If there isn't anyone there to monitor him? What does anyone think he's going to learn? Calm himself down? Self-coping skills? Really? Insert this Aunties (Can we teach you something about ADHD kids teacher?)
IF he did well alone? He wouldn't be trying to get your attention in the FIRST place.
Oh and before I get off my - DO NOT TREAT MY NEPHEW like a dishtowel....and toss him aside soap box.....
He's a child. Not a piece of paper. You can't just PUT him somewhere because YOU don't understand what is going on with him. Have YOU ever had to spend a MINUTE in his mind, his body, and tried to COPE with what he must go through in a day? Do you have ANY idea how hard it is for him to JUST sit still?
There is (somewhere on line) a test that you can listen to - and play for a teacher about what it is like to be in his head. I'll try to find it so you can email her the link. If she hears this maybe she'll have a little bit better understanding of how it is to be HIM and perhaps you call can tailor a learning atmosphere around his special needs, and challenge him and learn his triggers and help him to a FAPE (FREE AND PROPER EDUCATION) it's a LAW. Instead of tossing him into seclusion and thinking isolation will cure him....because it won't. It only tells him that YOU are an adult and he frustrated you. He's a kid. He's beyond frustrated. You're how many years older than he is, and have how many years MORE coping skills with frustration and ISOLATION is the BEST you could come up with to HELP HIM?
WOW - NICE - glad I'm not in YOUR class. I think as a teacher you'd want better for your kids.
(off my soap box) - LOOK UP SPECIAL NEEDS.....and go from there Mom.
YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY A WARRIOR MOM - welcome to the club (literally)
FAPE is Free and Appropriate Public Education. Seclusion for throwing paper? I would be ALL over that teacher and school. there would have to be HOURS of tantrum before my son's school would consider seclusion. We don't even have in school suspension until Jr High here. THAT is used rarely. Our school believes in helping the kids learn to control themselves. NOT sticking them alone in a room out of site. Cause what do they learn from that? At BEST they learn they can get out of doing work by doing the behavior that got them sent to seclusion. They can learn a lot of worse things, like they are not good enough to be with other kids.
When Wiz was in the psychiatric hospital he was ONCE put in the "alone room" for a while. JUST until he calmed down. He was alone in the room but they had cameras so they could monitor the child at all times. As soon as he calmed down and stopped trying to attack people he was taken out and went to talk with the therapist about what was going on. He liked being alone, has always needed time with no one around even before he could roll over he needed it and would scream if he didn't get it. As soon as he learned that they had a camera on him while he was in there he refused to act out enough to be put in there. The behavior before the seclusion was calculated to get that time in the "alone" room. The terd. Once the therapist knew this, and I explained his need for time alone, they let him have 45 mins a day alone in his room. He didn't HAVE to do this, but he could if he wanted.
I do not think seclusion is a useful tool for schools. I would object greatly to the use of this for any disciplinary purpose.
My difficult child was in a theraputic day school program when he was younger. 8 students, teacher and full time counsellor in class. They had a "quiet room". It was utilized. It was destructive. Even when difficult child was acting up in class, that room escalated him EVERY time. Never once did he get put into that secluded room that he wasn't sent home afterwards. It was not only the least effective tool in their arsenal, it actually created far more problems than it hoped to resolve (and never did resolve).
I'm sure in some circumstances it might be a alternative. But I don't have an example come to mind. For non violent things, other approaches are needed in my opinion. And for violent behaviour, really more intervention and support is needed. Sticking a out of control violent kid into a secluded room is punishment, not a resource for support. Its a dicey situation if you ask me, with limited and very specific only usefulness.
Separate names with a comma.