How many of you have done this?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Lothlorien, Oct 5, 2007.

  1. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I had to take Missy's door off today. It's broken from her slamming it so many times, anyway. Today, I just hit the limit of how many times I was going to deal with her slamming her door. I took it off.

    She's been coming after me lately too, so I went into my room after, so I could use the bathroom. She was coming at me full force. I closed the door and locked it. She damaged my door, now.

    I will put a curtain on her door in a few days, but there is no way in you-know-what that I am putting this door back on until this nonsense chills out.
  2. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    My friends house was missing all the doors upstairs where the kids were for as long as I knew her growing up.

    I only have 1 door slammer. The others like to kick or punch walls. I can't take those off. So I just keep wall patching kits and texturing putty on hand.

    Ahhh, kids, aren't they grand? :hammer:
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I haven't had to do this yet, but we did need to repair Duckie's door frame when she was three. She also broke it from repeated slamming. Do you & mighty mouse need a safe room if Missy's rages continue to worsen?
  4. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Loth, sorry to hear that Missy is so out of control. We've already removed kt's bedroom door - the bathroom door however is another story. In the midst of a meltdown kt loves to take over the bathroom & slam that door. We've taken off the antique doorknob of that door which will remain off until kt heads out on her own.

    kt is using Zyprexa as a PRN medication. Is Missy having any sedation, calming effects from this new medication? How are her medication levels? Any seizure activity going on? I know, I used to get very cranky & angry after a seizure. Just a thought.

    Hope tomorrow is a better day.
  5. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    She's been seizure free since June 06. I don't know what the medication levels are just yet. Labcor messed up the Trileptal draw, but since she's been seizure free even with a bout of Mono, the neuro said she'd like to try to see if we can do without the medications for the seizures. I'd like to know also. We plan to wean down the Trileptal in May, just to see. (The increased Trileptal made the problems worse). The Zyprexa is sedating. I did give her the dose once she calmed down a little. Normally, I give it to her around 7. I gave it to her at 5 or so and told her that she could return downstairs in 20 minutes and set the timer. Once she came down, husband had just gotten home and she had indeed calmed down.

    Funny you mention the bathroom. She slammed that door after I took her door off.

    She was raging this morning before school and then she was in a mood when she got home. She raged after I pulled in in the house because she made Mighty Mouse cross the street (which he is not allowed to do without an adult) to go down the street to see if the neighbors would come up. I had told her no earlier, because I knew the mood she was in and I knew it would be a bad thing to have kids over today. So she raged and raged and raged. Too bad! Tells me she hates me....the works. Sheesh, if she only knew that I was doing this for her own good. My neighbor's kids saw her raging this morning. She is going to ostricize herself from all her friends if she doesn't learn to control herself. She threw her keyboard, because her friend wanted to play with it, this morning.

    I hate days like this.

    I'm having a Crystal Light and Vodka, now that I put the kids to bed. (see 10 1/2 pounds in WC....I'm on a beer for me!) :crazy2:
  6. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Copper did not have a door from age 15 till she moved out at 18.

    Tink is 3 1/2 seconds from losing her door, her bed, her dresser...
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    The description of angry and cranky after seizures really makes me wonder...I would have that looked in to.
  8. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yup, been there done that. Took if off for about 2 months. She did not slam it after that. She did try to slam the bathroom door, but there was something about the frame on the bathroom door that did not give a good slam. That did not cut it so she took to throwing things.
  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    We have all the doors upstairs still on but all are damaged; easy child's, difficult child's, ours, and the bathroom. They all have holes from difficult child. The bathroom lock is also broke thanks to difficult child.
  10. mattsmum

    mattsmum New Member

    Not yet...but I have considered it. He has been inpatient for over a month now...we will see how he is when he comes home.
  11. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I was a door slammer...not just in childhood either, but up until I started Lexapro. Basically, it was anything that would slam that I was close to...cupboard doors worked, too...but I never did it hard enough to do any damage. Glass breaking was the best, though. I could literally feel the agitation leaving my body with the sound of breaking glass. I haven't done that in a long, long time.

    easy child ruined his door frame from slamming and then his door. He did have his door removed for a time when he was 10 because he barricaded himself in his room with a knife.

    difficult child is about to lose her door. I've told her if she slams it one more time, it's gone. The entire house shakes when she slams her door.
  12. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    been there done that we had curtains on the doors for a long time. Thankfully when rages were in full swing we didn't have to much to worry about. One of the blessings of a fixer upper. Enjoy your drink.

  13. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    husband used to marvel at Jess and I. We lived in a townhouse apt, and he never could get the front door to slam. Jessie and I were excellent at it. Brandon couldn't even after spending about 2 hours one day trying to make it slam. Something in the wrist action I guess.

    I was a major door slammer, still can when ticked at husband. But Jess has too much laundry on her floor to slam the door. Or even close it some days.


  14. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    Smart move with taking off the door and the Crystal light with vodka.
  15. morningcuppa

    morningcuppa New Member

    Taking the door off! Of course what a brillaint idea. Why didn't I think of it years ago? My 22 year old son is a door puncher rather than a slammer. He likes to put his fist through doors and walls. I think it is his hobby! We should have taken his door off the first time he did it.

    Clever idea. Good luck with your difficult child and well done you!
  16. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    That's our house - the kids' rooms are so full of stuff that the doors can't close. I refuse to go in their rooms except under exceptional circumstances. I've recently begun taking what I can reach from the doorway and either throwing it out (if it's old papers) or washing it. Then if it still fits anybody, they can have it. if it doesn't fit, it goes to the op-shop.

    No curtains on the bedroom door - if they want privacy, they can clean their room. If they need to get changed they either hide round the corner in their room or use the bathroom.

    easy child 2/difficult child 2 is a real heavy-duty door slammer. Last night's tantrum had her slamming a number of doors as she proceeded through the house. Then I shut myself in my bedroom for most of the rest of the night because I knew if we crossed paths I'd bite her head off and she simply wasn't going to be receptive for that to have any benefit. Tonight - she's polite and friendly but VERY uptight. We talked (not about last night) and when we touched on what is concerning me (of which last night was only a symptom) I was able to confront her (not about last night) with her double standards and her need to see a doctor about her uncontrolled anxiety which is clearly making her increasingly dysfunctional. We already have an appointment to see a college disabilities counsellor, not a minute before time from what I understand. And we're lucky - I've coincidentally booked the best bloke for the job, we've crossed paths before.

    I can't remove the doors she slams because we need those doors. They are in communal areas. But whenever a door has been damaged (as when difficult child 3 slammed a door at grandma's house and broke some glass which was in the same frame) the kids not only have to pay for the repairs, that have to actually help organise the repairs and even assist.

  17. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Two out of four bedrooms have no doors, and one has a damaged door. For the longest time sheets were in use for privacy - ya can't slam them.

    I am just now comming to grips that the doors need to be replaced - and am checking out solid wood ones. Its been a long time since anything was punched, but still, a nice solid wood door may make an impression.

    And I hate to admit, but when I have gotten mad, and left the house, would always slam the front door LOL

  18. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Count us in. We took his door off and he tacked up a blanket. I thought can't beat a blanket up. And then, and then he kicked holes in the wall and busted up the mirror on his wall instead. ARGH. So we took away his walls and put a nice grass mat on the lawn with an extension cord for a lamp, a blanket and pillow and some bug spray wipes. I told him if he was good he'd get a tent in a week or so.

    He got so angry and said "Fine I'll STAY out here." I said fine and shut the door. Then I opened it and threw out a roll of toilet paper and shut the door again.

    Around 1:00 AM he came in complaining of bugs. I said So sad, too bad you aren't staying in MY house and kicking holes in the walls or busting up mirrors. If you have no more self control than that you deserve to live outside where if you get mad you can kick a tree. I got him up, pushed him out and told him to watch for the ground spiders that hunt in packs and shut the door again.

    The next morning he came in and said he was sorry for the holes and the mirror. That he just gets SO angry sometimes he can't control it. I asked him what would help? He said a place to go get mad in. So we hung a heavy bag for him and agreed when he was angry THAT is where he would go.

    It helped for him to have something to take his anger out on and a place that NO ONE followed him to. If he said leave me alone, we did. But the conditions of the leaving him alone also came with : When you are calmed down, you will return to the house, and a family meeting will be called and strategies to difuse the anger before it happens again will be discussed.

    He actually almost seemed to enjoy talking about it with us after he had blown it out. And he learned to calm himself down and what would have been a better way to handle it. There was never any judgment or "past" brought up. Just that situation and how he could improve and prepare better for the next outburst.

    More and more as he grows older he just "walks fast" and talks to himself about what made him angry. THe heavy bag can't hit back, and he could imagine whatever or whomever he wanted to on it, but if you've ever hit one eventually you'll stop or break your hands. Like telling a child to punch a tree. THAT will happen once.

    Hope something in this ramble helps you.

    Also take a picture of that door, and keep it on file for all the property she damages. Some day when she's got a grip on her anger it may humble her. My son couldn't BELIEVE what all he had destroyed. Or how he kept his room. It was like someone else had done it he said.

    "Someone else in deed." I replied.
  19. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Star....too funny. I might just do that when she's older...:rofl:

    We have bears up here and not too far from where we live. There is still a lot of forest around here and we've seen some drousy, hungry bears running across the main road not too for from where we live. I cringe when I see tents pitched in the back yards around here. I always worry 'bout the bears. Friends of ours, who live across town, had a big problem with bears a year or two ago. None of the kids could play outside for a while. My house backs up against some thick woods, so I worry about it. Eventually, we'll get a big fence in the back of those woods.
  20. tracy551

    tracy551 New Member

    I too have a door slammer. He's not here right now due to his current placement though. When he wasn't slamming doors he was putting his fist thru windows. See why I got help???? Windows aren't as cheap as plaster patch for walls trust me. And the doctor bills for stiches weren't cheap either.