How Much Else Does Everyone Hate Living This !@@@##$$%%&& Life???

[totoro]

Well I didn't adopt and I ended up with 2 Gs'FG!

I still hate this life today!!! I am hoping my 1 hour of therapeutic horse riding for K, which has been the only thing each week that brings her some calmness and peace will be nice today.
Other than that... hooverfest!!! Lots of wanting to die, hallucinations, anxiety, school refusal, mania, depression ... all of the joys of Bipolar Disorder.

i hope, hope , hope someone here is having a good day.

 

[Christy]

I could have written your post. I've so been there, like all of us here. Why is everything so hard? I hope things get a little easier but with the holidays approaching, I wouldn't count on it. Keep a sense a humor and remember that this too in time shall change (hopefully for the better!).

(((hugs)))
Christy

 

[SophiaMaria]

((giant hugs)). It's so hard when you are doing it 24/7, what other people may see as minor, is pretty darn huge when it never ends. I am so feeling you, some days it really feels like there has to be more to life than this . I hope you get some good days in there too.

 

[lizzie09]

I fully understand too...we all wish we had a so called normal life
that doesnt have the ups and downs.....I often say its not what I
signed up for!! What can we do?
At least we have empathy here and great advice too.
Wouldn't you wonder about Lifes big plan?

I also spent a long time planning my son...I never ever expected
a problem I also think the PCs are a bit damaged as a result of all
the tension they feel and see.

Sending you good vibes always!!

 

[Stick a Fork in Me]

This place is a miracle. I've spent 18 years thinking I was the only parent who felt this way... or even was in a position to feel this way.

I'm so sorry for your difficult times, but so entirely amazed and relieved to not be alone.

 

[MICHL]

I agree... this online support group is a miracle We don't have to drive anywhere, we can "talk" on our own schedule....

 

[ChocolateBFF]

I am so feeling the frustration of difficult child right now. I have been lurker, but decided I needed to come out!

So glad to see all of you and know I am not alone.

OP-I hope you will feel better soon.

 

[depewj]

I just joined this forum today for the same reason. I have an 11 year old daughter (youngest of three...other two daughters are 17 & 14) who has consistently caused chaos in our household...pretty much since her toddler years. She has never responded quite the same way as her older siblings and my thought was always that I would give it "one more year" - hoping some maturity would kick in.

This fall she started her first year in middle school and the same behavior is continuing...constantly arguing, violent temper tantrums, and deliberately annoying her sisters for no means. This is an everday occurrence. In fact, it has escalated - now she uses very foul language and in an argument with a sibling about a TV channel, went to the silverware drawer and pulled out a knife threatening to stab the sister. My older daughter's are at wits end and I am nearly numb as to what to do...this is beyond my current parenting skills, and hoping time and age will solve the problem is not working.

I've done some research and think perhaps it is a personality disorder called ODD. My daughter needs help and our family needs help...what are the first steps I take to get some help?

 

[jal]

Welcome Chocolate BFF - glad yo have decided to join us. It's a GREAT place.

depewj-

Welcome. The first thing I would ask is does she have any issues in school? Has she been in therapy at all? Sounds like you may be doing research on your own so she may not have been formally diagnosis'd or if she has what was the diagnosis?. Usually, the first step would be to have a neuropsychological evaluation done.

Any history of psychiatric issues with-close family members or possible drug use on her part?

Sorry you both had to find us, but were glad you did.

This is a soft place to land!

 

[depewj]

Thanks, jal

Her grades are commendable except for Science where she seems to have no respect for the teacher. However, she has had several detentions (5 since September) for disrespecting authority when asked to stop horseplay or talking in class.

She has ever been in therapy or the family...mostly due to my thinking that age and time would take care of the problem. Please respond on how to best get a neuropsycholical evalution performed. I'm currently unemployed with no insurance...but have Medicaid coverage. Should I go through the school, enlist community health?

History provides no substance abuse, but she is a child created out of wedlock after my divorce that created the first two daughters. I chose not to continue a relationship or marriage with her father due to his emotional outbursts and unpredictability.

 

[jal]

depewj,

with-regards to your comment on her father's emotional outbursts and unpredictability, do you think he could've had some type of mental health issue?

Regarding the neuropsychologist evaluation: We had one done on our own and it was covered under my insurance through my employer at the time. If she is not struggling in school, the school probably will not test her, they won't spend the $$ if her academic performance is high. I am not familiar with-what would be covered under Medicaid, so you may want to start checking into that. Community health is another possibilty to look into.

We've used our local youth and family services to have intensive in home therapy 2x a week for a year. difficult child graduated the program a few months ago and it was provided at no charge.

 

[XerSib]

It makes me wonder...with the increase in autism and mental illness; with our PCs being raised with the stress of difficult children; will having children lose some of its luster; will we see fewer children born because more people will have the fear of having a difficult child??? I never thought that I would have a difficult child and I have 3. I know I would not have chosen this; I know my one sister stopped at 1 child with her #1 reason being fear of a difficult child (her husband is a easy child/difficult child).

Yes. That coupled in our case with actual family histories (my difficult child bro, my wife's difficult child sis and aunt, etc, etc, etc). Which made our fear well founded.

Plus, the general environment of Western society contributes to a rampant outbreak of difficult children. How? Modernity and the general nature of things has removed a certain, for lack of a better term, environmental brutality. 100 or even 50 years ago, that environmental brutality, for better or for worse, exerted pressure to grow up fast. If someone did not adapt they would sink quick, back in the bad (?) old days. But today? There is nowhere near the level of environmental brutality. Every kid growing up senses that lack, and therefore, feels less pressure to grow up. Kids who are even slightly impaired will therefore snowball into difficult children. At least that's my theory. Who knows?