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General Parenting
How Much is Too Much Oversight?
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<blockquote data-quote="dcwsaranac" data-source="post: 139053" data-attributes="member: 4746"><p>Finding the right balance can be difficult. You want to support the school, but doubling the consequences is very counter-productive.</p><p></p><p>I made the mistake of dealing with my son much the way your wife has been. When he was diagnosed, the doctor explained that he lacked not only the ability to stop and consider consequences before he acted, but also the ability to look back and reprocess things the way a typical child would. </p><p></p><p>We now monitor daily reports, but only to look for what circumstances brought on trouble. We then look for opportunities to put him in similar situations and use them as teaching moments. </p><p></p><p>Discipline for school-time infractions are dealt with at school as soon as the infraction occurs. If we confront him with his poor choices, it only serves to belittle him and make him think that he is no good, or that we are just mean. Neither does him any good.</p><p></p><p>Additionally, we allow him to earn tokens to exchange for a mega-reward by means of good reports (smilies) on his daily report. He feels better about himself, and us. </p><p></p><p>Life ain't no picnic around here, but it's certainly become a lot more pleasant since we've begun to understand these things.</p><p></p><p>Hope this forum helps. Tell you wife to put away the whip and pick up a plate of cookies.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/peaceful.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":peaceful:" title="peaceful :peaceful:" data-shortname=":peaceful:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dcwsaranac, post: 139053, member: 4746"] Finding the right balance can be difficult. You want to support the school, but doubling the consequences is very counter-productive. I made the mistake of dealing with my son much the way your wife has been. When he was diagnosed, the doctor explained that he lacked not only the ability to stop and consider consequences before he acted, but also the ability to look back and reprocess things the way a typical child would. We now monitor daily reports, but only to look for what circumstances brought on trouble. We then look for opportunities to put him in similar situations and use them as teaching moments. Discipline for school-time infractions are dealt with at school as soon as the infraction occurs. If we confront him with his poor choices, it only serves to belittle him and make him think that he is no good, or that we are just mean. Neither does him any good. Additionally, we allow him to earn tokens to exchange for a mega-reward by means of good reports (smilies) on his daily report. He feels better about himself, and us. Life ain't no picnic around here, but it's certainly become a lot more pleasant since we've begun to understand these things. Hope this forum helps. Tell you wife to put away the whip and pick up a plate of cookies.:peaceful: [/QUOTE]
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How Much is Too Much Oversight?
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