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Parent Emeritus
how much to ''help'' grown kids????
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 445931" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>rm, I am NOT speaking of legalities. I am saying that debts to family need to be handled before more debt is given. Yes, legally is should be included and she couldn't sue for the money after bankruptcy. she CAN tell the kids that even if they file bankruptcy they ahve to address her debts with her or she won't do anything else. </p><p></p><p>Do to get is EXACTLY what round's difficult child needs to experience from her mama. After all, if you DO pay the electricity, you GET appliances that work. If you DO pay the store, you GET groceris. And if you DO refuse to pay your momma back for any of the things she does for you, you GET nothing but hugs and love.</p><p></p><p>For the rest of it? What Star said. Do NOT tell her you won't let her kids starve. Do NOT. Tell her if she cannot take care of them then you will drive her to social services to put them into foster care so that they will be cared for while she gets her life in order. Right now she, and likely he, are using the "babies will starve" as their atm card. Babies will suffer in the heat. So you let them move in. Babies have diaper rash - they are crying because their tushies hurt. Gma buys diaper cream and diapers. Then she and bd have $$ for whatever stupid stuff.</p><p></p><p>Star is right about cutting them off. She needs to start seeing him for what he really isn't. If she wants to live with a man who doesn't work, do all the home chores, pay all the bills, etc... then she needs to fully live that lifestyle. That means that she cannot go and get you to pay for what she cannot afford. If she wants to live the way YOU live, then she needs to change whatever in her life that is holding her back. If that means getting more education, ditching bd, making him step up, whatever, those are HER CHOICES. </p><p></p><p>YOU chose to work hard, chose a father for your kids who wasn't like bd or to not have him around when/if he was like bd. You chose to save money and pay your bills on time and make sure you had enough to feed your kids etc.... So YOU need to live YOUR lifestyle and let her live the lifestyle she chose.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 445931, member: 1233"] rm, I am NOT speaking of legalities. I am saying that debts to family need to be handled before more debt is given. Yes, legally is should be included and she couldn't sue for the money after bankruptcy. she CAN tell the kids that even if they file bankruptcy they ahve to address her debts with her or she won't do anything else. Do to get is EXACTLY what round's difficult child needs to experience from her mama. After all, if you DO pay the electricity, you GET appliances that work. If you DO pay the store, you GET groceris. And if you DO refuse to pay your momma back for any of the things she does for you, you GET nothing but hugs and love. For the rest of it? What Star said. Do NOT tell her you won't let her kids starve. Do NOT. Tell her if she cannot take care of them then you will drive her to social services to put them into foster care so that they will be cared for while she gets her life in order. Right now she, and likely he, are using the "babies will starve" as their atm card. Babies will suffer in the heat. So you let them move in. Babies have diaper rash - they are crying because their tushies hurt. Gma buys diaper cream and diapers. Then she and bd have $$ for whatever stupid stuff. Star is right about cutting them off. She needs to start seeing him for what he really isn't. If she wants to live with a man who doesn't work, do all the home chores, pay all the bills, etc... then she needs to fully live that lifestyle. That means that she cannot go and get you to pay for what she cannot afford. If she wants to live the way YOU live, then she needs to change whatever in her life that is holding her back. If that means getting more education, ditching bd, making him step up, whatever, those are HER CHOICES. YOU chose to work hard, chose a father for your kids who wasn't like bd or to not have him around when/if he was like bd. You chose to save money and pay your bills on time and make sure you had enough to feed your kids etc.... So YOU need to live YOUR lifestyle and let her live the lifestyle she chose. [/QUOTE]
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how much to ''help'' grown kids????
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