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how should i handle this??
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 212008" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>You have control over yourself. You have nothing to say about what boyfriend will do or say to his ex. As you said, they have a history and kids. </p><p> </p><p>Personally, I would try to take the high road and let them talk if he so chooses. The scenes will be theirs, not yours, not your kids. The stupidity, the ugliness will go on regardless of what you do. However, if you stand quietly to the side (hopefully, with his and your kids standing by you so they aren't involved), you'll look like the heroine. She'll be the jerk and he'll be the idiot.</p><p> </p><p>Quietly take the kids away from the scene. Talk about the play, sing a song, whatever, but keep them occupied so they don't have to witness the mess. Trust me, others will notice even if ex and boyfriend don't. You will absolutely win that way.</p><p> </p><p>If you get involved, if you butt in, if you start a screaming match, you lose. If you storm out because he talks to her, you look like the jealous girl friend. If you get into a throw down, you go to jail.</p><p> </p><p>So, try to let it go. Be the lady, the good guy. Help the kids get through the scene by gently removing them.</p><p> </p><p>Don't make boyfriend choose between you and his ex. How would you feel if your ex went to a family event and called you over and boyfriend flat out said, "If you go over there, I'm leaving?," regardless of how good the reason for him wanting to leave was? No matter what a jerk his ex is, they have kids together and the kids have to come first.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 212008, member: 3626"] You have control over yourself. You have nothing to say about what boyfriend will do or say to his ex. As you said, they have a history and kids. Personally, I would try to take the high road and let them talk if he so chooses. The scenes will be theirs, not yours, not your kids. The stupidity, the ugliness will go on regardless of what you do. However, if you stand quietly to the side (hopefully, with his and your kids standing by you so they aren't involved), you'll look like the heroine. She'll be the jerk and he'll be the idiot. Quietly take the kids away from the scene. Talk about the play, sing a song, whatever, but keep them occupied so they don't have to witness the mess. Trust me, others will notice even if ex and boyfriend don't. You will absolutely win that way. If you get involved, if you butt in, if you start a screaming match, you lose. If you storm out because he talks to her, you look like the jealous girl friend. If you get into a throw down, you go to jail. So, try to let it go. Be the lady, the good guy. Help the kids get through the scene by gently removing them. Don't make boyfriend choose between you and his ex. How would you feel if your ex went to a family event and called you over and boyfriend flat out said, "If you go over there, I'm leaving?," regardless of how good the reason for him wanting to leave was? No matter what a jerk his ex is, they have kids together and the kids have to come first. [/QUOTE]
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