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Substance Abuse
How to be a parent to an addict that is 32 yrs old???
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 685144" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi Billy, Welcome to the forum. I am sorry for your need to be here. I am somewhere in the middle of your two selections. I would say it is necessary at times to take a break and go no contact for a while, but <em>this is </em>your son.</p><p>You are right, he does have to work on his sobriety, you cannot do it for him nor should you be used as a safety net.</p><p>He can get a sponsor to help him.</p><p>You are his parent, not a counselor.</p><p>There is a good article on the PE forum about detachment. Linked below.</p><p><a href="http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/" target="_blank">http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/</a></p><p>What I have learned is that we aim for <em>loving detachment</em>, not coldly cutting our d cs off. But it is understandable to go no contact to sort through your feelings and focus on YOU. We all know how hard it is to be dealing with the chaos of addiction, and need time out from the stress and turmoil. That is a consequence of<em> your sons actions.</em></p><p>Take the time you need to restrengthen and build yourself up.</p><p>For a lot of us, we dealt with our d cs situation much like emergency rescue, coming to their aid when they call. After a while we figured out that doesn't work. They don't learn to stand on their own two feet. Worse yet, they are not appreciative, and end up taking every advantage they can.</p><p>Good for you, enough is enough.</p><p>You have value and you matter.</p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/welcomecat.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":welcomecat:" title="welcomecat :welcomecat:" data-shortname=":welcomecat:" /></p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 685144, member: 19522"] Hi Billy, Welcome to the forum. I am sorry for your need to be here. I am somewhere in the middle of your two selections. I would say it is necessary at times to take a break and go no contact for a while, but [I]this is [/I]your son. You are right, he does have to work on his sobriety, you cannot do it for him nor should you be used as a safety net. He can get a sponsor to help him. You are his parent, not a counselor. There is a good article on the PE forum about detachment. Linked below. [URL]http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/[/URL] What I have learned is that we aim for [I]loving detachment[/I], not coldly cutting our d cs off. But it is understandable to go no contact to sort through your feelings and focus on YOU. We all know how hard it is to be dealing with the chaos of addiction, and need time out from the stress and turmoil. That is a consequence of[I] your sons actions.[/I] Take the time you need to restrengthen and build yourself up. For a lot of us, we dealt with our d cs situation much like emergency rescue, coming to their aid when they call. After a while we figured out that doesn't work. They don't learn to stand on their own two feet. Worse yet, they are not appreciative, and end up taking every advantage they can. Good for you, enough is enough. You have value and you matter. :welcomecat: Leafy [/QUOTE]
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How to be a parent to an addict that is 32 yrs old???
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