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Parent Emeritus
How to detach when grandkids are involved.
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<blockquote data-quote="End of our rope" data-source="post: 616872" data-attributes="member: 17544"><p>You know you ask the question we have asked ourselves so many times. Do we want the grandkids? The honest answer is no but what do you do when their parents will not step up. The father who she has never divorced has just now started paying child support after 4 years. In this state you have to be a meth dealer before you are considered a non fit parent. Anything else goes pretty much. We are sure he does not want them full time as he has moved on to a new girl with her own family. No we would rather have the retirement life we planned but will not let them suffer.</p><p>Yes we have talked to lawyers, family counselors, clergy, bartenders and anyone else who would lend a supporting ear but this overwhelming feeling of total failure and loss of our lives has me physically and mentally maxed out.</p><p></p><p>There are so many mental issues at play here and I know she won't get better even though her aunt has volunteered to pay for a 2 year college course to get her nursing degree and all she has to do is complete the course and it's all paid for. If she is pressed she will resort to stealing from us again. 12 years of this has made me a pretty good detective. We actually have 2 rental properties and I could put her and the grandkids in one but that Is only rewarding her.</p><p></p><p>The fact that the life we have so preciously planned for the last 40 years is over is as great a loss as I have ever experienced. I worked my whole life to get to this point and now to have to end my retirement and go back to work is devastating to me. I am a 67 year old used to be. I hope Home Depot is hiring.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="End of our rope, post: 616872, member: 17544"] You know you ask the question we have asked ourselves so many times. Do we want the grandkids? The honest answer is no but what do you do when their parents will not step up. The father who she has never divorced has just now started paying child support after 4 years. In this state you have to be a meth dealer before you are considered a non fit parent. Anything else goes pretty much. We are sure he does not want them full time as he has moved on to a new girl with her own family. No we would rather have the retirement life we planned but will not let them suffer. Yes we have talked to lawyers, family counselors, clergy, bartenders and anyone else who would lend a supporting ear but this overwhelming feeling of total failure and loss of our lives has me physically and mentally maxed out. There are so many mental issues at play here and I know she won't get better even though her aunt has volunteered to pay for a 2 year college course to get her nursing degree and all she has to do is complete the course and it's all paid for. If she is pressed she will resort to stealing from us again. 12 years of this has made me a pretty good detective. We actually have 2 rental properties and I could put her and the grandkids in one but that Is only rewarding her. The fact that the life we have so preciously planned for the last 40 years is over is as great a loss as I have ever experienced. I worked my whole life to get to this point and now to have to end my retirement and go back to work is devastating to me. I am a 67 year old used to be. I hope Home Depot is hiring. [/QUOTE]
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How to detach when grandkids are involved.
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