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Parent Emeritus
How to detach when grandkids are involved.
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 616911"><p>Hi Rope,</p><p></p><p>I can feel the despair and frustration and love in your posts. I don't have much to add because everyone here has given you very valuable advice. I was touched by your description of your grandchildren and that you want to preserve their mom in their eyes. I know it's altruistic and I know it's because you love them and your daughter so very much. Unfortunately, I think that it will sadly backfire. Your grandchildren have long healthy lives to live. Someday - and you know how time flies - they will be dealing directly with their mom.If you cover up her misdeeds and continue to enable her - if you don't draw that line in the sand between right and wrong - your grandchildren will think that's the way they should deal with her too. And it will just be perpetuated. You have an opportunity here to take some action, to let the kids know the difference between right and wrong and to show them the way - to literally empower them not to have to take responsibility for their mom someday.</p><p></p><p>If you daughter turns her life around, you and the kids will still be there to love her and accept her. In the meanwhile, model the behavior you hope your grandkids will use someday should this become vested upon them.</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry you are hurting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 616911"] Hi Rope, I can feel the despair and frustration and love in your posts. I don't have much to add because everyone here has given you very valuable advice. I was touched by your description of your grandchildren and that you want to preserve their mom in their eyes. I know it's altruistic and I know it's because you love them and your daughter so very much. Unfortunately, I think that it will sadly backfire. Your grandchildren have long healthy lives to live. Someday - and you know how time flies - they will be dealing directly with their mom.If you cover up her misdeeds and continue to enable her - if you don't draw that line in the sand between right and wrong - your grandchildren will think that's the way they should deal with her too. And it will just be perpetuated. You have an opportunity here to take some action, to let the kids know the difference between right and wrong and to show them the way - to literally empower them not to have to take responsibility for their mom someday. If you daughter turns her life around, you and the kids will still be there to love her and accept her. In the meanwhile, model the behavior you hope your grandkids will use someday should this become vested upon them. I am so sorry you are hurting. [/QUOTE]
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How to detach when grandkids are involved.
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