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How to even talk on the phone with my son....
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 656648" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>So, what does that mean, for me? If my son refuses medication and therapy, not seeing himself as mentally ill, while receiving SSI for mental illness, what course do I take?</p><p></p><p>If I refuse to listen to or participate in a delusion, and he insists, what do I do? Do I refuse to see him, to talk to him?</p><p></p><p>Or do I listen without commenting, and accept, that this is my son, and whether I like it, or can tolerate it, matters little?</p><p></p><p>It is like a war between us, neither wanting to surrender both insisting that a peace requires that our preferred terms prevail:</p><p></p><p>His terms, that I listen to and accept his views about the world.</p><p></p><p>My terms, that I will not listen to or accept his crazy views, which at this point I feel I CANNOT ACCEPT.</p><p></p><p>So the question is, is this unfair of me, and more than unfair, cruel? By refusing to participate in what I consider to be a disordered conversation, am I rejecting an ill child? By refusing to listen to him, am I refusing to ACCEPT that my son is majorly mentally disordered? Is it self-serving to persist in believing he has a choice, and control over this behavior? </p><p></p><p>Am I rejecting my son...because he is mentally ill and I WILL NOT ACCEPT IT?</p><p></p><p>Clearly, if this is the case I am wrong. A mother cannot, should not, reject a mentally ill child. </p><p></p><p>But, can and should a mother refuse to participate in what she feels to be self-destructive?</p><p></p><p>Accepting his craziness, feels like an endorsement. Honestly, I do not know what to do.</p><p></p><p>I am going to review past threads about kids who listen to demonic music to see if there are any parallels here, to guide me.</p><p></p><p>The difference is, your kids do not insist that you listen to demonic music.</p><p></p><p>Is this a world view or a delusion, that is the question?</p><p></p><p>My son is anxious, but denies it. My thinking has been that the appeal of this conspiracy theory is that it binds his anxiety, the anxiety he denies that he has.</p><p></p><p>As I type this I realize it really does not matter, why or how come. It is not my business.</p><p></p><p>My business is how to deal with and respond to my son, and how to be a Mother to him, while protecting myself.</p><p></p><p>And it is with this, I am having a great problem.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 656648, member: 18958"] So, what does that mean, for me? If my son refuses medication and therapy, not seeing himself as mentally ill, while receiving SSI for mental illness, what course do I take? If I refuse to listen to or participate in a delusion, and he insists, what do I do? Do I refuse to see him, to talk to him? Or do I listen without commenting, and accept, that this is my son, and whether I like it, or can tolerate it, matters little? It is like a war between us, neither wanting to surrender both insisting that a peace requires that our preferred terms prevail: His terms, that I listen to and accept his views about the world. My terms, that I will not listen to or accept his crazy views, which at this point I feel I CANNOT ACCEPT. So the question is, is this unfair of me, and more than unfair, cruel? By refusing to participate in what I consider to be a disordered conversation, am I rejecting an ill child? By refusing to listen to him, am I refusing to ACCEPT that my son is majorly mentally disordered? Is it self-serving to persist in believing he has a choice, and control over this behavior? Am I rejecting my son...because he is mentally ill and I WILL NOT ACCEPT IT? Clearly, if this is the case I am wrong. A mother cannot, should not, reject a mentally ill child. But, can and should a mother refuse to participate in what she feels to be self-destructive? Accepting his craziness, feels like an endorsement. Honestly, I do not know what to do. I am going to review past threads about kids who listen to demonic music to see if there are any parallels here, to guide me. The difference is, your kids do not insist that you listen to demonic music. Is this a world view or a delusion, that is the question? My son is anxious, but denies it. My thinking has been that the appeal of this conspiracy theory is that it binds his anxiety, the anxiety he denies that he has. As I type this I realize it really does not matter, why or how come. It is not my business. My business is how to deal with and respond to my son, and how to be a Mother to him, while protecting myself. And it is with this, I am having a great problem. [/QUOTE]
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