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General Parenting
How to explain to child Mom wants nothing to do with him
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<blockquote data-quote="DavidH" data-source="post: 120108"><p>Wow.. it is so sad t know and hear so many parents can do this.. I mean I knew there are lots of dead beats out there but good nigt alive... </p><p> </p><p>why can they not see what they are dong to there own flesh and blood!!!! makes me sick</p><p> </p><p>Star. that is the million dollar question....</p><p> </p><p>here is a short background on her...</p><p> </p><p>She was in foster care around 10 to 11 years old(bio dad molested her, bio mom protected dad, they lost the two girls justin's bio mom and her sister)</p><p> </p><p>She was adopted at 13 - got pregnant at 16 adopted parents made her give up the child. Had another child at 18 and has this one still today a boy (Justin's half brother) </p><p> </p><p>Had Justin at 21 (she was on BC saposidly (sp)) </p><p> </p><p>I got custody when Justin was 18 months she dropped him off from visit and said I am moving... never heard from her till I found her a Justin's request when he was 11 - she saw him two times... and now has disapeared again... </p><p> </p><p>I was told that her half brother is bi-polar, but I do not know... </p><p> </p><p>She is (was) a very sweet girl... until she is backed into a corner (her thinking she is being backed into a corner) then she can be the meanest person you ever met.. very vindictive.... but this was years ago.. now I have no clue. </p><p> </p><p>But no matter what I have never ever once said a negative word about her in front of Justin - I have just never been able to understand her actions... </p><p> </p><p>As I said above, this is not a new issue, he has always wanted his Mom, but he is just now starting to deal with it... and it is very clear it is really a big issue that I am sure has a lot of anger built up inside.</p><p> </p><p>I also know (from the Residential Treatment Center (RTC)) he blames me for her not keeping in contact after she met him in 2004 - because I messed up and did not want to lie, I told him the last time I talked to her I told her to either be some sort of Mom to this child or get out of hi life your ding more harm than good. </p><p> </p><p>I could go on and on on the problems caused by the contact with her</p><p> </p><p>(This was after over a year of promises of visits and I will do this I will do that, and nothing coming of her promises) (And her new baby's Daddy telling her that Justin was not allowed to there home with his issues -- And she told him (Justin) this. ... I could write forever ... if something does not make sense just ask..</p><p> </p><p>Maybe saying this to her was the wrong thing... but a the time my mind was in the... thought process of ... no matter what a parent will do what ever they can for their kid... I felt I was wanting to wake her up on what she was doing to him by not seeing him and some of the things she was saying to him, that was hurtful... </p><p>thanks</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DavidH, post: 120108"] Wow.. it is so sad t know and hear so many parents can do this.. I mean I knew there are lots of dead beats out there but good nigt alive... why can they not see what they are dong to there own flesh and blood!!!! makes me sick Star. that is the million dollar question.... here is a short background on her... She was in foster care around 10 to 11 years old(bio dad molested her, bio mom protected dad, they lost the two girls justin's bio mom and her sister) She was adopted at 13 - got pregnant at 16 adopted parents made her give up the child. Had another child at 18 and has this one still today a boy (Justin's half brother) Had Justin at 21 (she was on BC saposidly (sp)) I got custody when Justin was 18 months she dropped him off from visit and said I am moving... never heard from her till I found her a Justin's request when he was 11 - she saw him two times... and now has disapeared again... I was told that her half brother is bi-polar, but I do not know... She is (was) a very sweet girl... until she is backed into a corner (her thinking she is being backed into a corner) then she can be the meanest person you ever met.. very vindictive.... but this was years ago.. now I have no clue. But no matter what I have never ever once said a negative word about her in front of Justin - I have just never been able to understand her actions... As I said above, this is not a new issue, he has always wanted his Mom, but he is just now starting to deal with it... and it is very clear it is really a big issue that I am sure has a lot of anger built up inside. I also know (from the Residential Treatment Center (RTC)) he blames me for her not keeping in contact after she met him in 2004 - because I messed up and did not want to lie, I told him the last time I talked to her I told her to either be some sort of Mom to this child or get out of hi life your ding more harm than good. I could go on and on on the problems caused by the contact with her (This was after over a year of promises of visits and I will do this I will do that, and nothing coming of her promises) (And her new baby's Daddy telling her that Justin was not allowed to there home with his issues -- And she told him (Justin) this. ... I could write forever ... if something does not make sense just ask.. Maybe saying this to her was the wrong thing... but a the time my mind was in the... thought process of ... no matter what a parent will do what ever they can for their kid... I felt I was wanting to wake her up on what she was doing to him by not seeing him and some of the things she was saying to him, that was hurtful... thanks [/QUOTE]
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