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General Parenting
How to Handle a "Little" Thing
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<blockquote data-quote="SRL" data-source="post: 119161" data-attributes="member: 701"><p>Children with the cluster of issues that I think you're describing often have a number of things going on that make mornings a pain for a parent in a hurry. Some have auditory memory problems and if you give them a multistep list of instructions they get lost. Some have executive function problems (the CEO area of the brain isn't operating in a typical fashion), some are highly distractable and/or distracted by their obsessive topics. </p><p> </p><p>If he's not ready and/or able to follow through with the instruction and do it independently give him the support he needs until it is. What you have to throw out the window for now is the expectation that my child has reached a certain age and therefore he should be able to do X, Y, Z and instead individualize to your child's developmental timeline. After trying a lot of things that didn't work, I finally resorted to doing what made it easiest on me. Instead of telling him to go get his clothes and get dressed, I'd bring the clothes to him and dress him. If he needs a parent to stick with him and guide him through each step of the morning, then assign a parent to do that or plan on tag teaming off. He's only 4.5 and it's not uncommon for kids at that age to have a very different agenda than mom and dad for the morning. If he's not ready, it's like beating yourself over the head with a bat every morning. (Been there, done that!).</p><p> </p><p>If the schedule idea worked short term, you might want to create some alternatives and rotate them. Schedule, day timer, social story, etc. </p><p> </p><p>Another idea is to not to give a more immediate award--ie he finishes then gets to play a video game (or whatever) when he's ready in the morning. Or consider your morning schedule to see if there are steps you can make to make it more pleasant might help--I make a hot breakfast and read novels to my kids while they're eating. None of them want to sleep through that. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SRL, post: 119161, member: 701"] Children with the cluster of issues that I think you're describing often have a number of things going on that make mornings a pain for a parent in a hurry. Some have auditory memory problems and if you give them a multistep list of instructions they get lost. Some have executive function problems (the CEO area of the brain isn't operating in a typical fashion), some are highly distractable and/or distracted by their obsessive topics. If he's not ready and/or able to follow through with the instruction and do it independently give him the support he needs until it is. What you have to throw out the window for now is the expectation that my child has reached a certain age and therefore he should be able to do X, Y, Z and instead individualize to your child's developmental timeline. After trying a lot of things that didn't work, I finally resorted to doing what made it easiest on me. Instead of telling him to go get his clothes and get dressed, I'd bring the clothes to him and dress him. If he needs a parent to stick with him and guide him through each step of the morning, then assign a parent to do that or plan on tag teaming off. He's only 4.5 and it's not uncommon for kids at that age to have a very different agenda than mom and dad for the morning. If he's not ready, it's like beating yourself over the head with a bat every morning. (Been there, done that!). If the schedule idea worked short term, you might want to create some alternatives and rotate them. Schedule, day timer, social story, etc. Another idea is to not to give a more immediate award--ie he finishes then gets to play a video game (or whatever) when he's ready in the morning. Or consider your morning schedule to see if there are steps you can make to make it more pleasant might help--I make a hot breakfast and read novels to my kids while they're eating. None of them want to sleep through that. :winking: [/QUOTE]
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