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how to handle an obsessive compulsive issues with clothes - 5 yr old
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 353101" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>You've had some good advice. I note that GoingNorth mentioned the weighted vests - we got one of these for difficult child 3, it really helped although he was a bit self-conscious about wearing it to school, especially since there was a lot of bullying at the time and the teacher was not handling it well. We have school uniforms here so it's more difficult to 'hide' something like a vest.</p><p></p><p>You can also get weighted blankets which help at bedtime. Or the child might be happy being tucked in firmly, although when they toss and turn, a weighted blanket is more likely to stay in place but still provide freer movement.</p><p></p><p>The way the weighted vest worked - it was made of strong calico (non-stretch) and had lots of long, vertical pockets sewn into it, all around (a bit like a photographer's vest). The seams were French seams, so there was no thick bit of fabric digging in. In the little pockets we had long, narrow sandbags made with double-stitched French seams and each containing 200 g of sand. We could add these around the vest accordingly, I believe the idea is to have about 10% of the child's weight, no more, in the vest. We could remove sandbags or put them in, depending on what was comfortable. If you're handy with a sewing machine, you could make this yourself.</p><p></p><p>easy child 2/difficult child 2 developed her won way of handling this issue - yes, she would wear leotards to school under her uniform, but the problem here is - what does the child do when they have to go to the toilet? Unless the leotard has snaps in the crotch, you have to undress for toileting, which can be awkward at school. So what easy child 2/difficult child 2 did (although she was 18 at the time) was, she bought a corset. One of the reproduction Victorian ones, she bought it from a bondage store. Her corsets are made to be seen, they are made of various fabrics such as brocade, velvet or similar, very pretty. But they are also robust and can be laced very tightly. We set a rule that she had to lace herself in, not get someone else to do it. That way she was unlikely to overdo the lacing.</p><p></p><p>She says it's like "wearing a hug".</p><p></p><p>Temple Grandin mentions (in her books as well as her talks) the cattle crush machine she adapted, so she could control pressure self-applied. She needed to be in control of it, but also found that being compressed like this helps her calm herself down.</p><p></p><p>This sounds to me like acoping skill your daughter has developed, to help her adapt to the world which is not the easiest place for her to live in.</p><p></p><p>If you can, and as you can, talk to her about health and how she is permitted to have some control over the pressure her clothing gives her, but some practical issues need to be considered.</p><p></p><p>First, if it's pressure she wants, she needs to get it form the right kind of clothing. Some fabrics will stretch too much or be damaged, and should be reserved for outer wear only.</p><p></p><p>Second, this is not always socially acceptable and a lot of people won't understand. So this needs to be done as under-wear, not outer wear as a rule.</p><p></p><p>Third, health and safety has to be also taken into account. Someone mentioned elastic compression bandages - these can cause a blockage in the lymphatic circulation and this is not healthy. For example, in Australia the first aid treatment for funnelweb spider bite, is compression bandage over the bite and then up the limb towards the heart, bandaging right up to the joint (hip or shoulder). This is aimed to block lymphatic circulation, so the body can begin to break down the spider venom. It really works well, but it begins to make the tissues feel waterlogged and swollen. A tight compression bandage does need to be released every so often, to let the pressure off to allow the lymph to circulate.</p><p></p><p>Something else to consider (you really need to ask her why and try to understand how she feels with and without compression) is the possibility that she wants this because her joints are loose. A problem I've noticed in a subset of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids (especially high-functioning autism and Asperger's) is loose or hypermobile joints. Strapping them or bandaging them can give them the semblance of strength and reduce pain levels. Remember, for a young kid, this is "normal" for her, feeling like this. They will of course think that everyone else understands because they feel the same way.</p><p></p><p>When your daughter sees you trying to find ways to help her have what she wants, she will shift her attitude on this, to one of working with you to find a workable solution. This is the way to work towards handling her - become her facilitator, and avoid being the strict "because I say so" kind of parent. You can still have what you feel is important, but let her have what she wants as long as it really doesn't matter to any great extent, to you.</p><p></p><p>Also, regarding clothing that will work for her this way - try op-shops. Cheaper non-stretch fabrics and older clothing (pre-worn and therefore softer) can often give the child more comfort.</p><p></p><p>You can always throw over the loose outer stuff so nobody can see the tight things underneath. But at least let the teacher know, so they will understand.</p><p></p><p>Summer can be a problem when you have a child wearing layers. That's when you have to be inventive with fabric types.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 353101, member: 1991"] You've had some good advice. I note that GoingNorth mentioned the weighted vests - we got one of these for difficult child 3, it really helped although he was a bit self-conscious about wearing it to school, especially since there was a lot of bullying at the time and the teacher was not handling it well. We have school uniforms here so it's more difficult to 'hide' something like a vest. You can also get weighted blankets which help at bedtime. Or the child might be happy being tucked in firmly, although when they toss and turn, a weighted blanket is more likely to stay in place but still provide freer movement. The way the weighted vest worked - it was made of strong calico (non-stretch) and had lots of long, vertical pockets sewn into it, all around (a bit like a photographer's vest). The seams were French seams, so there was no thick bit of fabric digging in. In the little pockets we had long, narrow sandbags made with double-stitched French seams and each containing 200 g of sand. We could add these around the vest accordingly, I believe the idea is to have about 10% of the child's weight, no more, in the vest. We could remove sandbags or put them in, depending on what was comfortable. If you're handy with a sewing machine, you could make this yourself. easy child 2/difficult child 2 developed her won way of handling this issue - yes, she would wear leotards to school under her uniform, but the problem here is - what does the child do when they have to go to the toilet? Unless the leotard has snaps in the crotch, you have to undress for toileting, which can be awkward at school. So what easy child 2/difficult child 2 did (although she was 18 at the time) was, she bought a corset. One of the reproduction Victorian ones, she bought it from a bondage store. Her corsets are made to be seen, they are made of various fabrics such as brocade, velvet or similar, very pretty. But they are also robust and can be laced very tightly. We set a rule that she had to lace herself in, not get someone else to do it. That way she was unlikely to overdo the lacing. She says it's like "wearing a hug". Temple Grandin mentions (in her books as well as her talks) the cattle crush machine she adapted, so she could control pressure self-applied. She needed to be in control of it, but also found that being compressed like this helps her calm herself down. This sounds to me like acoping skill your daughter has developed, to help her adapt to the world which is not the easiest place for her to live in. If you can, and as you can, talk to her about health and how she is permitted to have some control over the pressure her clothing gives her, but some practical issues need to be considered. First, if it's pressure she wants, she needs to get it form the right kind of clothing. Some fabrics will stretch too much or be damaged, and should be reserved for outer wear only. Second, this is not always socially acceptable and a lot of people won't understand. So this needs to be done as under-wear, not outer wear as a rule. Third, health and safety has to be also taken into account. Someone mentioned elastic compression bandages - these can cause a blockage in the lymphatic circulation and this is not healthy. For example, in Australia the first aid treatment for funnelweb spider bite, is compression bandage over the bite and then up the limb towards the heart, bandaging right up to the joint (hip or shoulder). This is aimed to block lymphatic circulation, so the body can begin to break down the spider venom. It really works well, but it begins to make the tissues feel waterlogged and swollen. A tight compression bandage does need to be released every so often, to let the pressure off to allow the lymph to circulate. Something else to consider (you really need to ask her why and try to understand how she feels with and without compression) is the possibility that she wants this because her joints are loose. A problem I've noticed in a subset of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kids (especially high-functioning autism and Asperger's) is loose or hypermobile joints. Strapping them or bandaging them can give them the semblance of strength and reduce pain levels. Remember, for a young kid, this is "normal" for her, feeling like this. They will of course think that everyone else understands because they feel the same way. When your daughter sees you trying to find ways to help her have what she wants, she will shift her attitude on this, to one of working with you to find a workable solution. This is the way to work towards handling her - become her facilitator, and avoid being the strict "because I say so" kind of parent. You can still have what you feel is important, but let her have what she wants as long as it really doesn't matter to any great extent, to you. Also, regarding clothing that will work for her this way - try op-shops. Cheaper non-stretch fabrics and older clothing (pre-worn and therefore softer) can often give the child more comfort. You can always throw over the loose outer stuff so nobody can see the tight things underneath. But at least let the teacher know, so they will understand. Summer can be a problem when you have a child wearing layers. That's when you have to be inventive with fabric types. Marg [/QUOTE]
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