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How to handle my difficult child mom?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 591172" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Too bad they don't stay in Florida longer.</p><p></p><p>Your mom has the childish (in my opinion) attitude that she can do whatever she wants and it's too bad who she hurts in the process. I'd have trouble having a close relationship with my mom if she had that selfish attitude and I would distance myself quite a bit and only speak when necessary.</p><p></p><p>She's right. You can't stop her. But it won't help your child and she will one day see that. And you don't have to engage her while she gleefully disregards your wishes. And when things get tough and she calls you for help, if that happens, you can say, "Well, I'm sorry." And nothing else. Don't offer to help her out because you can't. She gets herself into her own messes. A grandparent does not HAVE to enable a difficult child who is struggling against her struggling daughter. It's not mandatory. She is choosing to do soj.</p><p></p><p>I would try to detach from the entire situation since it is out of your hands. I'm thinking a good therapist for you, on how to detach from this situation, is just what you need to talk to. For my money, your mom is being a big brat, desperate for love at any cost, and unreasonable. You are the adult here. Now be sure to take care of yourself because, God only knows, you DESERVE it. In fact...too bad YOU can't take that Florida trip and leave Mom home with your difficult child, year around. But...dreams don't happen. </p><p></p><p>You can not control mom or difficult child, but you can control yourself and learn to put yourself first because you need a break and some good treatment and nobody can be nicer to you than you (I hope this makes sense <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />)</p><p></p><p>Gentle hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 591172, member: 1550"] Too bad they don't stay in Florida longer. Your mom has the childish (in my opinion) attitude that she can do whatever she wants and it's too bad who she hurts in the process. I'd have trouble having a close relationship with my mom if she had that selfish attitude and I would distance myself quite a bit and only speak when necessary. She's right. You can't stop her. But it won't help your child and she will one day see that. And you don't have to engage her while she gleefully disregards your wishes. And when things get tough and she calls you for help, if that happens, you can say, "Well, I'm sorry." And nothing else. Don't offer to help her out because you can't. She gets herself into her own messes. A grandparent does not HAVE to enable a difficult child who is struggling against her struggling daughter. It's not mandatory. She is choosing to do soj. I would try to detach from the entire situation since it is out of your hands. I'm thinking a good therapist for you, on how to detach from this situation, is just what you need to talk to. For my money, your mom is being a big brat, desperate for love at any cost, and unreasonable. You are the adult here. Now be sure to take care of yourself because, God only knows, you DESERVE it. In fact...too bad YOU can't take that Florida trip and leave Mom home with your difficult child, year around. But...dreams don't happen. You can not control mom or difficult child, but you can control yourself and learn to put yourself first because you need a break and some good treatment and nobody can be nicer to you than you (I hope this makes sense :)) Gentle hugs. [/QUOTE]
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