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how to let go and have a life
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 495693" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Thank you, it's very helpful to hear what you all have to say. I am presently in a very structured codependency course through the local HMO, which is a very long process, about a year and a half, group therapy every week, educational classes, books, and having to attend Codependents anonymous 12 step groups. It's helping me to have the strength to keep my commitment to not continue enabling my daughter. I am in need of this support now because it's very difficult to let go of this negative connection with my daughter. I'm used to stepping in to fix everything, pay for everything, find solutions, etc. I've been letting go of her for years now, but only recently got the courage to actually step away. I believe I did the right thing, each day I gain more strength, more conviction and more peace of mind. This forum was a Godsend, it is so helpful to write it down and get feedback and support, I am so grateful to all of you for your willingness to take part in this and be there for others. Thank you! I am fortunate to have a wonderful fiancee who enjoys raising my granddaughter, and a granddaughter who has gone through her own darkness and come out the other side a well adjusted, happy kid who laughs a lot and is completely enjoying being a teenager, exactly where she belongs. Her mother, my daughter, is lost in space, and that is so sad, but I just can't throw myself on the altar of motherhood any longer to save her, she is on her own. I have many good moments, but, every once in awhile, the idea that my kid is out there in the cold night, sleeping in her car, so vulnerable and unsafe and out of options, it takes my breath away and I wonder how I can be happy when she has no life. Mostly, I can move myself out of that thinking, I hope that part subsides soon. It's hard. </p><p>God Bless.......</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 495693, member: 13542"] Thank you, it's very helpful to hear what you all have to say. I am presently in a very structured codependency course through the local HMO, which is a very long process, about a year and a half, group therapy every week, educational classes, books, and having to attend Codependents anonymous 12 step groups. It's helping me to have the strength to keep my commitment to not continue enabling my daughter. I am in need of this support now because it's very difficult to let go of this negative connection with my daughter. I'm used to stepping in to fix everything, pay for everything, find solutions, etc. I've been letting go of her for years now, but only recently got the courage to actually step away. I believe I did the right thing, each day I gain more strength, more conviction and more peace of mind. This forum was a Godsend, it is so helpful to write it down and get feedback and support, I am so grateful to all of you for your willingness to take part in this and be there for others. Thank you! I am fortunate to have a wonderful fiancee who enjoys raising my granddaughter, and a granddaughter who has gone through her own darkness and come out the other side a well adjusted, happy kid who laughs a lot and is completely enjoying being a teenager, exactly where she belongs. Her mother, my daughter, is lost in space, and that is so sad, but I just can't throw myself on the altar of motherhood any longer to save her, she is on her own. I have many good moments, but, every once in awhile, the idea that my kid is out there in the cold night, sleeping in her car, so vulnerable and unsafe and out of options, it takes my breath away and I wonder how I can be happy when she has no life. Mostly, I can move myself out of that thinking, I hope that part subsides soon. It's hard. God Bless....... [/QUOTE]
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