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Parent Emeritus
how to let go and have a life
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 496193"><p>I am so very sorry. It sounds like you have already made up your mind and have listed EXCELLENT reasons for your decision. You have done your best. Additionally, she is in her THIRTIES, you have had 20 years of losses and sorrows, you are 62 years old, are raising her daughter, have a fiancee, are desirous of your own life (rightly so) and perhaps most of all, your daughter is NOT willing to admit she has a problem, is NOT willing to get help or to make any personal efforts to get better and here is the icing on the cake: you said she is unaware of the pain and suffering she leaves behind. This is a NO WIN SITUATION if there ever was one.</p><p>Right now your responsibility is to yourself (#1), your grandchild and to your fiancee. Period. 20 years is enough time for your daughter to show some improvement. If you wish, periodically, IF and only if it is SAFE, you can steer her to the right mental health services. But, best for you to DETACH and stay out of her life. If (and that is a big 'if') at some point down the road she decides to get healthier, tries hard and gets treatment, perhaps you can resume SOME interaction. But for now, I would leave it in the hands of your Higher Power. Good that you are reading these wonderful books! Know in your heart that you did your best and move forward. Here is a good link to read over:</p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment/" target="_blank">Developing Detachment | LIVESTRONG.COM</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 496193"] I am so very sorry. It sounds like you have already made up your mind and have listed EXCELLENT reasons for your decision. You have done your best. Additionally, she is in her THIRTIES, you have had 20 years of losses and sorrows, you are 62 years old, are raising her daughter, have a fiancee, are desirous of your own life (rightly so) and perhaps most of all, your daughter is NOT willing to admit she has a problem, is NOT willing to get help or to make any personal efforts to get better and here is the icing on the cake: you said she is unaware of the pain and suffering she leaves behind. This is a NO WIN SITUATION if there ever was one. Right now your responsibility is to yourself (#1), your grandchild and to your fiancee. Period. 20 years is enough time for your daughter to show some improvement. If you wish, periodically, IF and only if it is SAFE, you can steer her to the right mental health services. But, best for you to DETACH and stay out of her life. If (and that is a big 'if') at some point down the road she decides to get healthier, tries hard and gets treatment, perhaps you can resume SOME interaction. But for now, I would leave it in the hands of your Higher Power. Good that you are reading these wonderful books! Know in your heart that you did your best and move forward. Here is a good link to read over: [URL="http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment/"]Developing Detachment | LIVESTRONG.COM[/URL] [/QUOTE]
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