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How to let go?
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<blockquote data-quote="TYLERFAN" data-source="post: 73451" data-attributes="member: 26"><p>Hi Goldenguru:</p><p></p><p>This time is all about YOU!</p><p>When our children leave, we are supposed to just let them go off and be an adult, right? Yeah well, not so easy, especially if you raised a difficult child, no matter how they are now....</p><p>Consider the fact that your childs previous actions have given you a small or large dose of PTSD. We all have it to some degree as difficult child parents. I have it bad. I started by doing simple things, that were very hard at the time. I was also going to FA(Families Anonymous) meetings. Anyway, I put a bunch of phrases I got out of an FA book and kept them by the phone. When difficult child called, I tried to stick to talking about things that were benign....don't get into their personal life and if they bring it up, tell them you are sure they will do the right thing.</p><p>Phase 2 was to turn the cell phone off at a certain time....now I have made that time earlier. </p><p>Busy yourself with things to do for you! Take a class, read a book, put makeup on everyday (surprising how you will feel better), take a long hot bath...go to work.</p><p>Try to recognize the times when you are wondering about your children as normal to the extent that you let them occupy your mind. A therapist of mine once told me when I would get thoughts or a flashback of something bad, I could hold a stop sign up in my head....I literally envisioned a red stop sign...it helped me.</p><p></p><p>I wish you tons of luck. You can do it</p><p></p><p>Blessings,</p><p>Melissa</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TYLERFAN, post: 73451, member: 26"] Hi Goldenguru: This time is all about YOU! When our children leave, we are supposed to just let them go off and be an adult, right? Yeah well, not so easy, especially if you raised a difficult child, no matter how they are now.... Consider the fact that your childs previous actions have given you a small or large dose of PTSD. We all have it to some degree as difficult child parents. I have it bad. I started by doing simple things, that were very hard at the time. I was also going to FA(Families Anonymous) meetings. Anyway, I put a bunch of phrases I got out of an FA book and kept them by the phone. When difficult child called, I tried to stick to talking about things that were benign....don't get into their personal life and if they bring it up, tell them you are sure they will do the right thing. Phase 2 was to turn the cell phone off at a certain time....now I have made that time earlier. Busy yourself with things to do for you! Take a class, read a book, put makeup on everyday (surprising how you will feel better), take a long hot bath...go to work. Try to recognize the times when you are wondering about your children as normal to the extent that you let them occupy your mind. A therapist of mine once told me when I would get thoughts or a flashback of something bad, I could hold a stop sign up in my head....I literally envisioned a red stop sign...it helped me. I wish you tons of luck. You can do it Blessings, Melissa [/QUOTE]
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