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how to prepare for difficult child to come out of rehab?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 112130" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>in my opinion (dealing with my drug addict daughter) IF he decides to come home, I wouldn't put myself out like you plan. Why turn your life upside down for a grown man who has never kept his promises? in my opinion it will mean more to him if he has to walk or take public trans or cabs to his meetings. You should not have to drive a man his age to his meetings. It means more when he has to get there on his own and you can also see how committed he is to changing. I'd certainly lock everything up. He has violated your trust and needs at least a year of committed recovery to earn your trust back. I would institute a zero-tolerance rule. One slip or any bad impact to your other child and he leaves again. It isn't support that he needs, in my opinion. It's internal motivation, which often happens once the person HAS nowhere to turn. You son is going to have to deal with his girlfriend. Likewise, he has the power to make friends who are not using drugs, especially if he is attending N/A. My daughter had to drop all her friends to get clean. But it had to be HER decision. I can't emphasize enough that THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO to help him stay straight. It has to be a deep, ingrained commitment on his part and that includes a conscience choice to distance himself from his old crowd. Ask any addict or alcoholic (they are addicts too). They needed brand new people in their lives. He can do it. My daughter did it at a much younger age than your son. Sure, she was lonely, but she knew it was her only chance. Now she has new friends and no contact with her old drug crowd. We did read that a few of them are in jail and one has passed on due to a drug overdose and she and I are grateful she made the break. But SHE had to do it. Good luck. We, as parents, always want to make it better. It's hard to admit that we can't...(((hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 112130, member: 1550"] in my opinion (dealing with my drug addict daughter) IF he decides to come home, I wouldn't put myself out like you plan. Why turn your life upside down for a grown man who has never kept his promises? in my opinion it will mean more to him if he has to walk or take public trans or cabs to his meetings. You should not have to drive a man his age to his meetings. It means more when he has to get there on his own and you can also see how committed he is to changing. I'd certainly lock everything up. He has violated your trust and needs at least a year of committed recovery to earn your trust back. I would institute a zero-tolerance rule. One slip or any bad impact to your other child and he leaves again. It isn't support that he needs, in my opinion. It's internal motivation, which often happens once the person HAS nowhere to turn. You son is going to have to deal with his girlfriend. Likewise, he has the power to make friends who are not using drugs, especially if he is attending N/A. My daughter had to drop all her friends to get clean. But it had to be HER decision. I can't emphasize enough that THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO to help him stay straight. It has to be a deep, ingrained commitment on his part and that includes a conscience choice to distance himself from his old crowd. Ask any addict or alcoholic (they are addicts too). They needed brand new people in their lives. He can do it. My daughter did it at a much younger age than your son. Sure, she was lonely, but she knew it was her only chance. Now she has new friends and no contact with her old drug crowd. We did read that a few of them are in jail and one has passed on due to a drug overdose and she and I are grateful she made the break. But SHE had to do it. Good luck. We, as parents, always want to make it better. It's hard to admit that we can't...(((hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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how to prepare for difficult child to come out of rehab?
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