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How to recover ourselves after difficult child-induced trauma?
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<blockquote data-quote="welcometowitsend" data-source="post: 595759" data-attributes="member: 14356"><p>Cedar - I still get the shakes like you do. Sometimes I feel like my body is vibrating from the inside out - it's strange. </p><p></p><p>I think the trauma of difficult child exacerbates any other stress in my life. difficult child isn't causing me too much stress right now but any other stress starts the shaking up pretty quickly. I'd put that in the PTSD realm. </p><p></p><p>I understand the wanting to help, fix things, make it right. But now that you've seen what you are doing and how enabling and yet disabling (to both her and you) it is you can change it.</p><p></p><p>I watch a lot more tv now too. My housework has slid because of it. It's a mind numbing escape and I don't blame you for needing it and using it. I have read that tv is sometimes a great way for ADHD people to quiet their minds and turn them 'off' for a while. It's actually seen as a good thing. </p><p></p><p>Of course there are other ways to deal with stress that are healthier like meditation, exercise, yoga, a hot bath. Maybe those would work better for you and make you feel more productive in the sense that you are caring for your health? Something for me to take note of as well. I need to get back into exercise.</p><p></p><p>Daisy - You are so right. I have had several mental health professionals all tell me that I shouldn't be working harder for difficult child than he is working for himself. There is no point. It took me a while to get it but I do now. The last mental health nurse I talked to at our hospital was very gentle and understanding but made the point very clearly and I finally got it. It doesn't matter how hard I work for him, if he doesn't want help my work was wasted. If he does want help he'll work to get it for himself. Lightbulb!</p><p></p><p>*We are all very lucky to have this board for support. I am always grateful!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="welcometowitsend, post: 595759, member: 14356"] Cedar - I still get the shakes like you do. Sometimes I feel like my body is vibrating from the inside out - it's strange. I think the trauma of difficult child exacerbates any other stress in my life. difficult child isn't causing me too much stress right now but any other stress starts the shaking up pretty quickly. I'd put that in the PTSD realm. I understand the wanting to help, fix things, make it right. But now that you've seen what you are doing and how enabling and yet disabling (to both her and you) it is you can change it. I watch a lot more tv now too. My housework has slid because of it. It's a mind numbing escape and I don't blame you for needing it and using it. I have read that tv is sometimes a great way for ADHD people to quiet their minds and turn them 'off' for a while. It's actually seen as a good thing. Of course there are other ways to deal with stress that are healthier like meditation, exercise, yoga, a hot bath. Maybe those would work better for you and make you feel more productive in the sense that you are caring for your health? Something for me to take note of as well. I need to get back into exercise. Daisy - You are so right. I have had several mental health professionals all tell me that I shouldn't be working harder for difficult child than he is working for himself. There is no point. It took me a while to get it but I do now. The last mental health nurse I talked to at our hospital was very gentle and understanding but made the point very clearly and I finally got it. It doesn't matter how hard I work for him, if he doesn't want help my work was wasted. If he does want help he'll work to get it for himself. Lightbulb! *We are all very lucky to have this board for support. I am always grateful! [/QUOTE]
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