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How to recover ourselves after difficult child-induced trauma?
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<blockquote data-quote="nerfherder" data-source="post: 595839" data-attributes="member: 15907"><p>It will sound a bit odd to say, but I envy y'all. You "get" to step back, once you choose to. Kiddo can't function on her own no matter how much I wish it. If she could, I'd like to think she'd want to. </p><p></p><p>Weekend before last, she broke a window in her space in the midst of a tantrum. I replaced it yesterday with plexiglas (expensive stuff.) The floor on her side of the cottage has the tiles lifting off because of her heavy-handed (and footed, and arsed...) way of moving her body, and she's not heavy - about 120 lbs at 5'3". She breaks stuff, not even because she's trying to break stuff, but because of her broken proprioceptive awareness. I have a hose hydrant (rural thing, picture a hose bib on a 3 or 4 foot standing pipe) that I have to dig up and re-glue because she's so bad at knowing how much physical effort to put into something. Everytime she uses it to water the livestock there's a huge puddle at its base from making the joint loose. When I built her bed, I screwed the frame to the wall (instead of legs against the wall. Took about two months and one day she goes to bed, her bed's at a 30* angle when I get there, she didn't notice to say "My bed is broken." I had to rebuild it with extra legs because she sits so heavy she ripped the joins right out of the wall.</p><p></p><p>Everytime she manages to steal food or take ANYTHING without asking and I am notified, it's like that knife in the gut. Two days ago Blacksmith noticed someone's been taking his medicinal breathing teabags - expensive stuff - and while I noticed none in our trash, she's also slick enough to hide some of the trash so I'll find it eventually. So I have to now, when we get in the main house in the morning, take everything she might get into out of the common room and keep it in the kitchen with me while I'm doing the breakfast routine.</p><p></p><p>Yes, personal space organization suffers. I have to keep anything important locked or she'll get into it. If I have a form lying around she'll try and fill it out. She'll fill out permission slips for school trips that have nothing to do with her. She'll fill out order forms and who knows what else. It just never ends. I don't know how I'm going to be the first few weeks after she moves out, but I doubt it'll be entirely rational.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nerfherder, post: 595839, member: 15907"] It will sound a bit odd to say, but I envy y'all. You "get" to step back, once you choose to. Kiddo can't function on her own no matter how much I wish it. If she could, I'd like to think she'd want to. Weekend before last, she broke a window in her space in the midst of a tantrum. I replaced it yesterday with plexiglas (expensive stuff.) The floor on her side of the cottage has the tiles lifting off because of her heavy-handed (and footed, and arsed...) way of moving her body, and she's not heavy - about 120 lbs at 5'3". She breaks stuff, not even because she's trying to break stuff, but because of her broken proprioceptive awareness. I have a hose hydrant (rural thing, picture a hose bib on a 3 or 4 foot standing pipe) that I have to dig up and re-glue because she's so bad at knowing how much physical effort to put into something. Everytime she uses it to water the livestock there's a huge puddle at its base from making the joint loose. When I built her bed, I screwed the frame to the wall (instead of legs against the wall. Took about two months and one day she goes to bed, her bed's at a 30* angle when I get there, she didn't notice to say "My bed is broken." I had to rebuild it with extra legs because she sits so heavy she ripped the joins right out of the wall. Everytime she manages to steal food or take ANYTHING without asking and I am notified, it's like that knife in the gut. Two days ago Blacksmith noticed someone's been taking his medicinal breathing teabags - expensive stuff - and while I noticed none in our trash, she's also slick enough to hide some of the trash so I'll find it eventually. So I have to now, when we get in the main house in the morning, take everything she might get into out of the common room and keep it in the kitchen with me while I'm doing the breakfast routine. Yes, personal space organization suffers. I have to keep anything important locked or she'll get into it. If I have a form lying around she'll try and fill it out. She'll fill out permission slips for school trips that have nothing to do with her. She'll fill out order forms and who knows what else. It just never ends. I don't know how I'm going to be the first few weeks after she moves out, but I doubt it'll be entirely rational. [/QUOTE]
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