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How to recover ourselves after difficult child-induced trauma?
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 596621"><p>I've missed too much this last year, so I don't know the entire story. Apologies ahead of time if I stick my foot in my mouth. I know that it is HARD as anything humanely possible to not be hypervigilant. It is counterintuitive. I am fortunate that my husband does much of the necessary stuff. We are not hypervigilant anymore. And one of the biggest (and best) things for me personally is that I'm no longer truly personally invested. It is rare for me to get emotional or overly worried about difficult child anymore. It isn't completely gone gone, but I have pushed much of it out into outer space somewhere. I have done what they suggest in AA...and given it over to a higher power. We kind of watch out for things that might be dangerous for difficult child or medically crucial. We help her in those instances. I don't understand why difficult child is a difficult child. I don't understand why there are difficult children in this world. It has upset me spiritually to such a great extent I feel like if I ever could fully express it, a building would fall down. It is too big and too inexplicable for me to cope with. So, I have given it to my Higher Power and have gotten comfort this way. I know that I gave 110% and it took a lot out of me. I know that I have value and that I need to care for myself and other family members. I give what I can give to difficult child when it seems appropriate and will not be damaging to myself. I do not care one bit what others think of me or difficult child. I do not go out of my way to complain about difficult child, but do not worry about it either. It is what it is. I do comment on her positive side to others...but others are not blind and they are well aware of her faults. It is what it is. Life moves on. I know that we are not suppose to discuss religious things here and this is not really religious. It is just that I had to do the "AA" thing and give it up to my HP. I even read AA literature, even though I don't drink! Ha! It makes sense to me. This is just too big. Along with what I said above, many times I have to physically take extra care of myself and rest, read a good book, call a friend, etc. I have a hx of lupus and currently have Sjogren's Syndrome...and stress is never good for one's health. Good thoughts/good wishes and strength to you Barbara (((hugs))). Please take good care of yourself and consider my words.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 596621"] I've missed too much this last year, so I don't know the entire story. Apologies ahead of time if I stick my foot in my mouth. I know that it is HARD as anything humanely possible to not be hypervigilant. It is counterintuitive. I am fortunate that my husband does much of the necessary stuff. We are not hypervigilant anymore. And one of the biggest (and best) things for me personally is that I'm no longer truly personally invested. It is rare for me to get emotional or overly worried about difficult child anymore. It isn't completely gone gone, but I have pushed much of it out into outer space somewhere. I have done what they suggest in AA...and given it over to a higher power. We kind of watch out for things that might be dangerous for difficult child or medically crucial. We help her in those instances. I don't understand why difficult child is a difficult child. I don't understand why there are difficult children in this world. It has upset me spiritually to such a great extent I feel like if I ever could fully express it, a building would fall down. It is too big and too inexplicable for me to cope with. So, I have given it to my Higher Power and have gotten comfort this way. I know that I gave 110% and it took a lot out of me. I know that I have value and that I need to care for myself and other family members. I give what I can give to difficult child when it seems appropriate and will not be damaging to myself. I do not care one bit what others think of me or difficult child. I do not go out of my way to complain about difficult child, but do not worry about it either. It is what it is. I do comment on her positive side to others...but others are not blind and they are well aware of her faults. It is what it is. Life moves on. I know that we are not suppose to discuss religious things here and this is not really religious. It is just that I had to do the "AA" thing and give it up to my HP. I even read AA literature, even though I don't drink! Ha! It makes sense to me. This is just too big. Along with what I said above, many times I have to physically take extra care of myself and rest, read a good book, call a friend, etc. I have a hx of lupus and currently have Sjogren's Syndrome...and stress is never good for one's health. Good thoughts/good wishes and strength to you Barbara (((hugs))). Please take good care of yourself and consider my words. [/QUOTE]
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