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How to respond to an obsessive-behavior request?
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<blockquote data-quote="Sanity101" data-source="post: 97164" data-attributes="member: 4312"><p>I can't tell you how many times I have mentioned I think it is something other than ADHD going on with the anger/rage. </p><p></p><p>One of you hit the nail on the head with his type rage. It is not in his control. I have learned not to deal with "the issue" DURING the rage. A lot of his behavior, he doesn't even remember doing afterward. He has broken the swing set's slide before. He has flipped the swing set over before. He has broken the back window of our old car with a thrown object before. Stepdad's current car has a cracked windshield from a thrown toy. He has run out into the middle of the road in the dark before (wanna talk about scared). </p><p></p><p>I don't think he plans his rages. He knows the drill of all the things to do when he feels himself getting angry. However, what we've noticed is a lack of that "warming up" time. He can go straight from fine to a rage like the snap of a finger! Once in that rage, reminding him of anger control techniques only makes him madder. NO INTERCHANGE has been the best thing for calming his rages lately. I do LISTEN to everything he says while raging. But, I reserve responses for a calm discussion after the rage has passed. </p><p></p><p>The biggest thing is to not engage in the fit. It will simmer down faster if no one is feeding it with responses. I have asked about Bipolar and Schizophrenia before. The current psyche (who hasn't returned my call) has mentioned a possibility of the Intermittent Rage Disorder. I think that's probably the same as Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED) on the shortcuts list. </p><p></p><p>He has ALWAYS had trouble getting to sleep at night. YEARS ago, we found melatonin. He has to take that EVERY night and it is the difference between sleep and NO sleep. He literally can stay up ALL night. He does go through spurts of helpful obsessions. I didn't think it was healthy to go overboard on the chore spectrum either. He has literally done MANY chores in one day when in the mood to do so.</p><p></p><p>I bring sleep up, because he has had sleep studies done. They removed his tonsils after one, but ruled they don't see any other causes after that. His sleep has not changed before/after the T&A surgery. </p><p></p><p>He IS having 6th grade insecurity self esteem issues at school, of which we have been communicating about. He also talks to his school-based counselor about. He's not even in puberty yet and it is already getting scary. I do plan to find the book on The Explosive Child and read the referred website, both of which I learned about on these forums. I am glad I found this resource.</p><p></p><p>I am not sure what would happen if I take him to the hospital and that scares me away from taking him. I had panic attacks back when I was going through my divorce from his dad. I was committed for a couple of days involuntarily due to a misunderstanding of my panic attack. I was freaking out about all those palmetto bugs flying around in the strange house where I was alone and it was bedtime. I was already in an agitated state of mind. They claim that I threatened suicide. I remember no such occurence. So, that's the foundation to my lack of trust. Yes, I have holes in my walls. There is a difference between his "hyperactivity" and his "anger/rage". I think they are separate issues. It's breaking my heart. </p><p></p><p>I'm going to reread all the advice on here and take notes. His previous counselor included me in parts of his sessions. It does take teamwork to deal with all this. Now that he's in middle school, he sees their school-based counselor during the school day. </p><p></p><p>He's good in school! He's very smart, but also unfocused and unorganized. He does have an Learning Disability (LD) in reading, but excels in Math/Science. The social side of school has him asking to be home-schooled. I don't think we could successfully homeschool with these rage issues going on. </p><p></p><p>Thanks again</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sanity101, post: 97164, member: 4312"] I can't tell you how many times I have mentioned I think it is something other than ADHD going on with the anger/rage. One of you hit the nail on the head with his type rage. It is not in his control. I have learned not to deal with "the issue" DURING the rage. A lot of his behavior, he doesn't even remember doing afterward. He has broken the swing set's slide before. He has flipped the swing set over before. He has broken the back window of our old car with a thrown object before. Stepdad's current car has a cracked windshield from a thrown toy. He has run out into the middle of the road in the dark before (wanna talk about scared). I don't think he plans his rages. He knows the drill of all the things to do when he feels himself getting angry. However, what we've noticed is a lack of that "warming up" time. He can go straight from fine to a rage like the snap of a finger! Once in that rage, reminding him of anger control techniques only makes him madder. NO INTERCHANGE has been the best thing for calming his rages lately. I do LISTEN to everything he says while raging. But, I reserve responses for a calm discussion after the rage has passed. The biggest thing is to not engage in the fit. It will simmer down faster if no one is feeding it with responses. I have asked about Bipolar and Schizophrenia before. The current psyche (who hasn't returned my call) has mentioned a possibility of the Intermittent Rage Disorder. I think that's probably the same as Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED) on the shortcuts list. He has ALWAYS had trouble getting to sleep at night. YEARS ago, we found melatonin. He has to take that EVERY night and it is the difference between sleep and NO sleep. He literally can stay up ALL night. He does go through spurts of helpful obsessions. I didn't think it was healthy to go overboard on the chore spectrum either. He has literally done MANY chores in one day when in the mood to do so. I bring sleep up, because he has had sleep studies done. They removed his tonsils after one, but ruled they don't see any other causes after that. His sleep has not changed before/after the T&A surgery. He IS having 6th grade insecurity self esteem issues at school, of which we have been communicating about. He also talks to his school-based counselor about. He's not even in puberty yet and it is already getting scary. I do plan to find the book on The Explosive Child and read the referred website, both of which I learned about on these forums. I am glad I found this resource. I am not sure what would happen if I take him to the hospital and that scares me away from taking him. I had panic attacks back when I was going through my divorce from his dad. I was committed for a couple of days involuntarily due to a misunderstanding of my panic attack. I was freaking out about all those palmetto bugs flying around in the strange house where I was alone and it was bedtime. I was already in an agitated state of mind. They claim that I threatened suicide. I remember no such occurence. So, that's the foundation to my lack of trust. Yes, I have holes in my walls. There is a difference between his "hyperactivity" and his "anger/rage". I think they are separate issues. It's breaking my heart. I'm going to reread all the advice on here and take notes. His previous counselor included me in parts of his sessions. It does take teamwork to deal with all this. Now that he's in middle school, he sees their school-based counselor during the school day. He's good in school! He's very smart, but also unfocused and unorganized. He does have an Learning Disability (LD) in reading, but excels in Math/Science. The social side of school has him asking to be home-schooled. I don't think we could successfully homeschool with these rage issues going on. Thanks again [/QUOTE]
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