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How to respond to an obsessive-behavior request?
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<blockquote data-quote="hopeful" data-source="post: 97184" data-attributes="member: 4311"><p>On this I can subject I can relate. My daughter is unable to do anything but rage when she is angry. If I react, we engage in the dance and it serves no one. If I do not engage, she acts it out, moves through it and when the rage passes she is generally quite lucid and thoughtful. If she is engaged, the "memory" of the rage is skewed and onesided, her side of course. </p><p></p><p>Before she was 10-11 home was scheduled, manageable and organized. We all knew what to do to maintain. She would simply storm to her room to "calm down", once in a while I would check in and she would shout at me "I'm not done yet!" and continue trashing her room, punching her bed etc. In school, peer pressure had little impact and her teachers sighed in relief when she moved on to another class. The kids couldn't engage with her because if she got mad, she was verbally abusive. When she wasn't mad she was sweet and funny, they couldn't handle the chaos. In fact, school was our personal battleground, taking medications, (she would hide them under her tongue and spit them out, refuse to take them..)getting dressed, she often undressed while I was getting her brother ready and I would always be late... I got over that eventually, but most mornings after leaving her at her class I would wander to the car and cry. </p><p></p><p>We had many successes but the road was long. So, puberty... a very trying and dangerous time. I don't know if mental health in the states offers it but through mental health in Canada we were assigned a conduct disorder clinician. This amazing gal meets with my daughter every week, takes her for lunch, just connects with her and does solid tool building sessions with her. If we had this in place when she was 12 it would have saved us all so much grief. </p><p></p><p>I suggest reaching out to see if this is available, the school counselors are a comfort but there is specific supports needed especially at this time and the other service they provided was someone for me to talk to. She "knows" that I love my daughter and she can hear my frustration or fears without judgment. It really helps me... She also has connections to other supports that I couldn't access without her, for free! </p><p></p><p>Food for thought.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hopeful, post: 97184, member: 4311"] On this I can subject I can relate. My daughter is unable to do anything but rage when she is angry. If I react, we engage in the dance and it serves no one. If I do not engage, she acts it out, moves through it and when the rage passes she is generally quite lucid and thoughtful. If she is engaged, the "memory" of the rage is skewed and onesided, her side of course. Before she was 10-11 home was scheduled, manageable and organized. We all knew what to do to maintain. She would simply storm to her room to "calm down", once in a while I would check in and she would shout at me "I'm not done yet!" and continue trashing her room, punching her bed etc. In school, peer pressure had little impact and her teachers sighed in relief when she moved on to another class. The kids couldn't engage with her because if she got mad, she was verbally abusive. When she wasn't mad she was sweet and funny, they couldn't handle the chaos. In fact, school was our personal battleground, taking medications, (she would hide them under her tongue and spit them out, refuse to take them..)getting dressed, she often undressed while I was getting her brother ready and I would always be late... I got over that eventually, but most mornings after leaving her at her class I would wander to the car and cry. We had many successes but the road was long. So, puberty... a very trying and dangerous time. I don't know if mental health in the states offers it but through mental health in Canada we were assigned a conduct disorder clinician. This amazing gal meets with my daughter every week, takes her for lunch, just connects with her and does solid tool building sessions with her. If we had this in place when she was 12 it would have saved us all so much grief. I suggest reaching out to see if this is available, the school counselors are a comfort but there is specific supports needed especially at this time and the other service they provided was someone for me to talk to. She "knows" that I love my daughter and she can hear my frustration or fears without judgment. It really helps me... She also has connections to other supports that I couldn't access without her, for free! Food for thought. [/QUOTE]
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