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How To Take Back Control From 7Yr Old/Neighbors Complaining Of His Screaming
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 613208" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Confused, you don't have to leave. You aren't here too much. We all posted a lot at the beginning of our "journey." Please stay.</p><p></p><p>I think the question is more what to do when you get negative attention from others who don't understand because I personally don't feel you can do much to force him to comply. You may be able to make it better (talk to therapist for strategy) but he has problems that are beyond what one human mother can do much about other than to get him help, which you are doing. This kind of reminds me of somebody I know who had a little boy they adopted as an infant, but there was schizophrenia in his genetic family tree and it turned out that he was never "right." Often when I drove past her house, the police where there because he had broken a window or was so out of control that she, home alone during the day, could not control him. Sometimes his father was home and he couldn't control him either and there were other kids in the home. She heard comments all the time, but she learned to ignore them. If they called CPS, let them. They came to know her and her son and they ended up helping a lot. The neighbors could call the cops. The cops knew the story too. She stopped caring about what others said or thought. I met this woman in a group for parents of adopted kids...we still stay in touch. She took him to a psychiatrist for years and years and therapists, he was on tons of medication, they tried everything. </p><p></p><p>You don't owe anyone an explanation nor can you control what other people do or think. But it also isn't important what they think. </p><p></p><p>I know that your question was about how to take back control from your mentally ill son, but I don't think it is a parenting issue. Some kids issues are too severe for them to respond to common sense parenting. When I first came here, the regular posters talked about something called "Rhino Skin." I think we should start using that phrase again! As parents of differently wired children, we definitely need to develop rhino skin!</p><p></p><p>One day I'll tell you about the day I had to chase Sonic (autistic spectrum and now twenty) down the mall hallway while he screamed like a banshee. If there had been cell phones then, I'm sure somebody would have called the cops on me. Guess what? I just DID tell you! But the kicker is that he is adopted and he is black and I'm white. So you can only imagine how it looked to other shoppers when this two year old black child ran away from me screaming like he was being murdered with me chasing after him desperately trying to catch him before he got out of my sight. I ended up having to carry him, as he screamed, kicked and bit me, out to the car. This incident turned a few heads...I was aware of people gasping and staring. I was in tears. </p><p></p><p>This is a situation where outside help and professional interventions are best. You just started doing this. See where it leads you. My son's behavior got considerably better with interventions. But he was neurologically different, not mentally ill as well. Time will tell what is really going on with your son...he is really too young to know yet. Could be more than one thing, and what is wrong is what will dictate what might help him. Take pressure off yourself to do it alone. Hugs!!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 613208, member: 1550"] Confused, you don't have to leave. You aren't here too much. We all posted a lot at the beginning of our "journey." Please stay. I think the question is more what to do when you get negative attention from others who don't understand because I personally don't feel you can do much to force him to comply. You may be able to make it better (talk to therapist for strategy) but he has problems that are beyond what one human mother can do much about other than to get him help, which you are doing. This kind of reminds me of somebody I know who had a little boy they adopted as an infant, but there was schizophrenia in his genetic family tree and it turned out that he was never "right." Often when I drove past her house, the police where there because he had broken a window or was so out of control that she, home alone during the day, could not control him. Sometimes his father was home and he couldn't control him either and there were other kids in the home. She heard comments all the time, but she learned to ignore them. If they called CPS, let them. They came to know her and her son and they ended up helping a lot. The neighbors could call the cops. The cops knew the story too. She stopped caring about what others said or thought. I met this woman in a group for parents of adopted kids...we still stay in touch. She took him to a psychiatrist for years and years and therapists, he was on tons of medication, they tried everything. You don't owe anyone an explanation nor can you control what other people do or think. But it also isn't important what they think. I know that your question was about how to take back control from your mentally ill son, but I don't think it is a parenting issue. Some kids issues are too severe for them to respond to common sense parenting. When I first came here, the regular posters talked about something called "Rhino Skin." I think we should start using that phrase again! As parents of differently wired children, we definitely need to develop rhino skin! One day I'll tell you about the day I had to chase Sonic (autistic spectrum and now twenty) down the mall hallway while he screamed like a banshee. If there had been cell phones then, I'm sure somebody would have called the cops on me. Guess what? I just DID tell you! But the kicker is that he is adopted and he is black and I'm white. So you can only imagine how it looked to other shoppers when this two year old black child ran away from me screaming like he was being murdered with me chasing after him desperately trying to catch him before he got out of my sight. I ended up having to carry him, as he screamed, kicked and bit me, out to the car. This incident turned a few heads...I was aware of people gasping and staring. I was in tears. This is a situation where outside help and professional interventions are best. You just started doing this. See where it leads you. My son's behavior got considerably better with interventions. But he was neurologically different, not mentally ill as well. Time will tell what is really going on with your son...he is really too young to know yet. Could be more than one thing, and what is wrong is what will dictate what might help him. Take pressure off yourself to do it alone. Hugs!!!! [/QUOTE]
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