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Failure to Thrive
How to take control of my circumstances and my destiny. II
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 693675" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>This is SWOT talking on RE's new thread <u>Where Our Power is.</u></p><p><u></u></p><p>I forgot to mention this part. I am sorry people but I will warn you. I am going to stray deeper into FOO-land.</p><p></p><p>My perception is that I have been betrayed many times in my life. My sense is that it began by my parents.</p><p></p><p>But I am beginning to wonder. If the most significant betrayal was of myself.</p><p></p><p>That in order to cover in my own mind, for the ways that my parents were not there for me, or hurt me,<strong> I held myself responsible for everything. </strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p>And the other thing I began to wonder is whether or not in my relationships throughout my life, I might have been the first betrayer.</p><p></p><p>Because I would always be too <em>sensitive to default by others.</em> And would bolt.</p><p></p><p>I am wondering now that with the first sign of danger or weakness or the possibility of betrayal by somebody else--I would label them as defaulting me--and then I would do it first. Like I lacked flexibility to tolerate human foibles. (Now, of course, I could be infinitely tolerant--as long as I had the protection of a role, and the distance provided by such. That is to say I could be all-accepting. And then go home.)</p><p></p><p>So, what I am looking for here, is a way not to label other people bad or wrong, if they trigger in me--those things in myself--that I run from.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 693675, member: 18958"] This is SWOT talking on RE's new thread [U]Where Our Power is. [/U] I forgot to mention this part. I am sorry people but I will warn you. I am going to stray deeper into FOO-land. My perception is that I have been betrayed many times in my life. My sense is that it began by my parents. But I am beginning to wonder. If the most significant betrayal was of myself. That in order to cover in my own mind, for the ways that my parents were not there for me, or hurt me,[B] I held myself responsible for everything. [/B] And the other thing I began to wonder is whether or not in my relationships throughout my life, I might have been the first betrayer. Because I would always be too [I]sensitive to default by others.[/I] And would bolt. I am wondering now that with the first sign of danger or weakness or the possibility of betrayal by somebody else--I would label them as defaulting me--and then I would do it first. Like I lacked flexibility to tolerate human foibles. (Now, of course, I could be infinitely tolerant--as long as I had the protection of a role, and the distance provided by such. That is to say I could be all-accepting. And then go home.) So, what I am looking for here, is a way not to label other people bad or wrong, if they trigger in me--those things in myself--that I run from. [/QUOTE]
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How to take control of my circumstances and my destiny. II
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