I was about to respond on SWOT's new thread, and realized I merited my own. This is how I started out to post on SWOT's thread: Ultimately, we are responsible to deal with what is happening to us. Even though it is not our fault or even responsibility. By this I was responding to how Bart blasted his mother because he was anxious about his court date and intolerant of the fact that SWOT has loyalties and responsibilities in addition to him. So, most of you know I have returned to work. The last 10 days or so have been chaos. And while it is not me who is responsible, I will be held responsible. I have completed almost 3 weeks. More or less, because I was asked to leave the prison one day last week, for wearing a forbidden color of clothes (not). It seems I was not the only contract staff told to leave. One of our supervisors expressed that we were targeted. I told M yesterday of my predicament and he said this: The money is not important. This is your reputation. M believes I have the highest of reputations and he is very proud of this. Doing his work well and dependably is the highest of values to him. He values that for me, too. Tell them that you will have to stop working until they can arrange giving you the proper training and orientation to do your job. You will be blamed. They will scapegoat you. Take responsibility for protecting yourself. Tell them: I cannot continue working here unless this is solved. Give me what I need to do the job or I need to leave. Tell them that you will finish out this week and return when they have put in place the training and resources that you require. Last week, the whole of it, was a disaster, as had been the prior Friday when I was scheduled 5 patients for whom to complete comprehensive evaluations, but had never been given access to the computerized forms I was to use, nor any training on how to complete them. Monday I was scheduled patients for my day off. On Tuesday I was told to leave after 20 minutes (as above.) Thus Friday, Monday and Tuesday--patients all were not seen or dealt with responsibly. Wednesday I do not remember. Thursday afternoon I did receive access to the forms, but not to databases, or to training. I was told at 5pm that I was to go to training on security issues the next day. But not the next Monday or Tuesday, as another supervisor had told me. Following the training on Friday, I found that another 5 patients had been scheduled for while I was at the security training. (I was able to find one, and see him.) But still do not know the operating procedure for completing the forms, at this job site.) I told two of the supervisors (there are 3 who directly supervise me but have no designated responsibilities--they are free-floating. So I have no one to hold responsible. But all 3 can hold me responsible.) All 3 supervisors are new. On Thursday afternoon I told one of them: I would very much appreciate it if you designate a staff person for me to go to for help. I am willing to work an additional day or change my days off, for the next few weeks, in order to be trained to do my work. It will not take much. I have done all of these job duties, but I need to learn your computerized system. I am waiting for instruction per your direction, but my work is mounting up, unattended to. I am responsible for that work, but I do not have the tools necessary to do it. I will go ahead and do it as best I can and come to you for review. No response. One supervisor told me: A co-worker cannot help you because they could train you wrong. We have to train you. (A week ago Friday when I told her I needed her help, she either forgot or ignored me and left.) But nobody is taking responsibility to train me on their system. The work keeps arriving like on a conveyor belt in a slapstick movie but I am not laughing. The thing is this: it is not even so important that my reputation be preserved in relation to others. It is that I maintain my self-esteem, my reputation for myself. I have a 20 year career in prisons. I have been solid, dependable and workmanlike. In some situations at some times, I have been brilliant. I do not want to lose my esteem for myself. I care too much. But I believe this is a set up for failure. Or worse. It could be. I am not sure what to do. If I speak to one supervisor it looks like I am splitting or triangulating. If I speak to all of them together it looks like I am either a drama queen or taking them on. My options: 1. I could say nothing and just keep working at what I can do, as I can do it, hoping that my learning curve will soon outdistance the impossible circumstances. 2. I could tell one supervisor that I need the conveyor belt to slow down until I get solid training. And ask him I was willing to be responsible. 3. I could go in tomorrow morning and talk to the three of them together and tell them all, directly, the state of my work the last 10 days, and put it on them. Tell them I need a solution or I will be forced too give notice and complete this week, or the next two. And will return if they want, when they have time to give me the training and resources I need. (This is what M thinks.) This is not specific to me this problem. Except other new people start in groups (like interns) and have staff designated to train them for a time. Because I have a long work experience in 8 prisons it is easy to assume that I should just take responsibility for myself. (Impossible without access and training to their system.) Finally, I am wondering why I chose to put this in FOO. Last night sometime after M and I had talked about the situation, I told him, I am scared about work. That's what I don't like about you. Why are you sad and scared? Just handle the situation. Take control. You take control over the circumstances. Protect yourself. Set limits. Do not let them take advantage of you or set you up. To use you to scapegoat. Stop that. Stop them. Which must have been exactly the situation in my family. Nobody wanting to take responsibility, except wanting to take control and wanting a target, somebody to do the work, and to take the blame. Me: not knowing what was going on. No voice. Having no power to change anything. Just putting my nose to the grindstone to work and to behave. I want to handle this situation in a way that I show myself I have mastery over myself and the circumstances I can control. I want to define this in the way that is best for me. In a way I can respect myself and take care of myself. I am not clear yet what that would be.